Hypnotize Thyself!

 

I once asked a lady I knew, who was a therapist:  if hypnosis works so well, why don't we just hypnotize people for everything? We could force ourselves to always make good decisions, always have energy, retain information like Mr. Memory, be really courteous drivers, or even just always make ourselves stay healthy...I will never forget her reply: "It doesn't work that way."  Well, okay then.

In the 1960's, though, that was sort of the mindset (let's face it:  probably because of cartoons and sitcoms).  And, there was money to be made off of this mindset...and, strangely, it wasn't to be made by health care professionals, but by record companies! Why pay doctors or therapists when you can just hypnotize yourself? (Movies taught me that all you need is a spinning, swirly disc anyhow.  And why would they lie? See SHERLOCK HOLMES AND THE WOMAN IN GREEN for just one example of this.)

In that decade, a flood of self-hypnosis recordings hit the market.  Some were sold in stores, but it seemed like many more had to be purchased from the backs of magazines, which I suppose provided a layer of protection for the sellers.  As a result, these are pretty rare today.  I pick these things up anytime I actually run across one, for two reasons:

1) They are usually completely bonkers, and

2) They provide great fodder for the occasional sample.

Today we will look at a small clutch of these rare, yet not super-valuable, in the scheme of things, records. In no particular order:

Dr. Michael Dean's Hypnosis and Self-Hypnosis Record (Revere, 1964).  I just recently found a copy of this record, but I've had it for years, courtesy somebody's blog that's not around anymore.  This one is a hoot, and provides several good opportunities for sample fodder, which I have directly taken advantage of.

Dr. Aram Azadian - Self-Relaxation/Hypnosis for Deep Relaxation (Fresno Improvement Center, no year given).  This is a prize find of mine.  It came in a plain white sleeve, but contained a treasure trove of original paperwork! (Note, no ZIP code, which probably places it before 1963.) Looking this doctor's name up on Discogs reveals an interesting fact; his releases seem to be custom-pressed, as in, there are different combinations of sides found in the database.  I suppose you could mix and match. "I need to stop biting my nails, but also hypnotize others, please." The first side actually sounds like Stan Freberg's Lawrence Welk parody, I kid you not.

Hypnotic Record (unknown).  This is probably the oldest record in this group; nothing is known about it other than it was purely mail-order, and was an "unbreakable" 78.  Also, it would've included "Eye Fixation Spots," which I'm sorry we don't have. Both short sides are spoken over a "metronome" accompaniment, which is...bizarre.

Joseph Lampl - The Record Way to Stop Smoking (Living Record Library, 1964). Another find of mine; pretty much a sham, the two sides of this record hardly add up to 18 minutes.  If I smoked, I'd start again just to spite this record.

Dr. Reginald MacNitt - Psycholaxation (unknown). This one is a bonus.  It came off of the old WFMU website, which is no longer with us.  There is no information about it anywhere (if I remember correctly, it was claimed to be issued on cassette), but it's worth the price of admission.  It's such gold, I wouldn't be surprised to find out it was a well-made hoax.  

WARNING: Listener beware of the somnolent tones included herein...I probably wouldn't recommend listening to these while driving, although that's exactly what I did most of the time...come to think of it, I did end up in completely different state one day, with no idea how I got there, and a better, more positive outlook on life.  Also, I no longer wanted to smoke.  Huh.

LINK: Self-Hypnosis Records