Audio Avalanche!

Before we return to our latest Godzilla revelations, let's catch up on some audio that I've laboriously purchased, digitized, and cleaned up.  The work is all done, so it would be a shame to let all that go to waste...speaking of waste, do you have some time that needs wasting? I'll help you. Here we go (in no particular order):

1) The Age of Television (RCA, 1971)

This is not one of those "clip show" records, but rather a well-made documentary. Don't let the year of 1971 put you off; this is captivating stuff, and its interspersed with candid interviews with the likes of Milton Berle, Arlene Francis, and Steve Allen, and some of their anecdotes are hilarious.  You'll be glad you did.  The record came packaged with a large book (which isn't necessary to enjoy this). Recommended!

LINK: The Age of Television

2) If Someone Had To Fill Your Chair Tomorrow, Who Would It Be? (Fails Management Institute, 1977)

This piece of unmitigated crap is a one-sided 12-inch record that I found at a Game Exchange of all things.  I will admit that once I saw "THE FAILS MANAGEMENT ISNTITUTE" on the sleeve, I was buying this.  Unfortunately, they failed to manage the fail that was this record, which is nothing more than an advertisement to attend an expensive seminar "at two beautiful locations!" Also, the "Fails" is one of the old guys' last names...no, really.  They take turns droning on about boring business things, and actually do manage to leave us with a couple of funny samples, which I have cut out and gotten you started with, as you will see if you bother to download this...thing.

LINK: If Someone Had To Fill Your Pants

3) Bed Time Tales (Rosicrucian Recordings, date unknown)

And then we have this, which is obviously from the 1950's.  A stodgy old Fred Mertz-sounding character, who clearly doesn't want to be there, reads four meandering and pointless "tales" to the listeners, but he sounds like he'd rather start thrashing them at any second.  When you look at the back cover and see the other titles in the series, which were about the "Science of Mysticism," and "Attaining Cosmic Consciousness," you realize that Mommy and Daddy were having way more fun.  But do I run into any of those titles at the Goodwill? Nope.

LINK:  Bed Time Tales

4) Oceanography (Educational Activities, Inc., 1969)

Remember filmstrips in school? Remember your teacher struggling with loading the projector, while you made fun of her? Remember her cueing up a record or tape incorrectly, while you made fun of her? Remember being so glad when the lights finally went out, so you could sleep...or better still, watch the filmstrip, and make fun of it? (I got in trouble rather a lot.)  Well, here is the audio to two educational--and quite strange--filmstrips about the next frontier for man to pillage and leave full of discarded Lee Greenwood albums and Ho Ho's wrappers. We don't have the actual filmstrips, but I did include the Teacher's Guides for you to peruse.  The most fun, though, is the list of recommended class activities on the back cover, where we read suggestions like "Investigate the commercial fishing industry and locate important fishing grounds."  

    "Billy, where are you going in that overcoat and dark glasses...and is that your father's revolver?!"

    "Aw, gee, Ma, I'm just going to finish my expose' and blow the lid offa Big Fish...the National Enquirer is waitin'." 

LINK: Oceanography