Marvel Comics Rejection Letter (c.1984)

 

The image above is pretty self-explanatory, but why not tell the story to go along with it? 

When I was in grade school, I saw something about "submissions" on a comic letters page, so I thought I would entertain the higher-ups at Marvel with the homemade, notebook paper-scrawled comic books that I endlessly churned out during the long school day back then (it was better than paying attention).  At that time, I was pretty much just emulating MAD parodies, so I thought, if this "Muppet Babies" thing is such a big deal, why not carry it a step further?  Following that rationale, I presented them with..."G.I. Joe Babies."  

I don't remember much about it--which is probably for the best--or even how I managed to get it mailed (which would've required an Act of Congress in my house), but I sent it to them and awaited my invitation to move to New York City.  At least, until I completely forgot all about it.

Months later, this letter arrived.  It was bizarre because not only was it unfolded and in a document-sized envelope (which I should've probably saved), but it was a crummy photocopy.  With no original signature.  And not even a straight photocopy, but one that was crooked, and even cut off the top of the letterhead!  Of course, the reality was probably that interns were sending out hundreds of these things a day, but it didn't take the sting out of the rejection.  Also, the letterhead made use of the "new" Spider-Man, as if to further rub in the fact that everything I loved was dead (I had a New Coke reaction to the black costume like lots of other folks, but now in adulthood, I really love it...if only they'd stopped at two costumes.  IF ONLY.) 

Of course, the most incredible thing about this story was that this letter somehow survived all these years, and ended up in my filing cabinet, where I recently discovered it and got a good laugh.  Do you have one of these? I'm sure there are many variations of it, from over the years.  Unless of course they hired you, then I don't want to know...but then again, the joke would be on you, because then you'd be a D****y employee! There is justice.

ADDENDUM:  For a laugh, compare this to a version of the letter from just a couple of years earlier, in the Shooter era (that I found somewhere online years ago)!