Mad Dogs and Engrishmen (some Engrish to help with your Monday)

And now, a couple of Engrish delights, one new and one old.  First up, a classic I discovered on my hard drive that I've never shared. These are instructions that came with an easel, and I've probably had this for 12 or 15 years:

"Proceed the assambling!"

 Secondly, some instructions that came with a replacement laptop battery I recently ordered:

This is such a garbled-up mess, we won't even attempt to take it line-by-line.  Just know that batteries are extremely complicated things that must be constantly taken to 3% or else they will explode.  I think.  And you thought all you needed to do was snap the battery in and start using it, didn't you? I mean, why would a battery even come with instructions? I am unsure of just how many tragic deaths were caused by these convoluted instructions...or if anyone even knew who to sue.

Well, I can't resist examining ONE of the lines: