THE SUPER DICTIONARY (Part Fourtymillionteen, and Also THE END)

Okay, if we screw up our courage (that saying just never sounded positive to me), if we believe in ourselves hard enough, and if we have a pocket full of antidepressants, we can conclude THE SUPER DICTIONARY today.  Isn't that the news you wanted when you rolled out of bed this morning? (Me neither!) But we can do this!
My life has improved so much since reading this entire book.  I taught my Children to clean the fatty stuff out of their ears, we now bake foods in the oven on top of fatty stuff paper, and this next holiday, I think I will take everybody to Madame Tussaud's Fatty Stuff Museum.
 Unfortunately, the scale didn't go all the way to CONNIVING JERKWAD.
My friends, this is your last time to view the amazing hero for our times, El Dragon.  Let's let our last image be of the fool trying to run all the way to the sun.  Yes.
This definition would make Yoda embarrassed, and his grammar sucks.
Plus, and I know I have said this before, but even if you are four-year-old, and you have to look up the word WHAT, then you are a moron, and there is no hope for you.
 Not that we have ever, ever had any context with these panels in the SUPER DICTIONARY, but it sort of makes you wonder what's going on here, doesn't it?
Annnnnd, here we go again with more racial-sensitivity embarrassment from this lobotomy-cluster disguised as elementary reference material.  You may remember, sometime around the letter B, we had a similar chortle at the word black, but does that really excuse it?  She looks sort of peachy-colored to me...certainly not the same as her teeth, nor the "color of snow."  Plus, there is a whole group of like 17 people who argue that white isn't even a color, but the absence of a color.  I don't know about you, but the absence of, say, a $100 bill or a handful of Chex mix certainly isn't the same as the real thing.
But we can't linger--that would mean that the SUPER DICTIONARY had won, and we are nearing the broken-glass-covered finish line!
 Because................it's him? His own self?
Wow, things went downhill for Krypto when they stopped using him for several years.  After touring with Led Zeppelin, he was another O.J. Simpson houseguest, finally winding up as party companion to Charlie Sheen (which explains why his head is several sizes too big for his body). The rest of the details, I do not want to know.
So here's a guy who can simultaneously hear the screams of dying infants all over the world, but is so bored, he decides to free-fall to earth without footwear.  As if boots have any bearing on super-invulnerability.  (No Super-Socks, though, which is...interesting.)  All this is, is another pointless thing to prattle on about while standing around the water cooler at the Hall of Justice, while everyone pretends to care, but secretly curses how indestructible he is.
She planned to protect them, but a giant hunchback with a red thing glued to his face appeared, and they both fainted faster than useless Pokemon. 
SUPERMAN: "And, I am so amazing, I also have heat vision!"
DOCTOR:  "Gyyaacckkgghgggg"
Well, it's a day in the life for Robin, of course.  His "cape the color of lemons" isn't helping his (alleged) masculinity much, but hey, they didn't mention his tights!
Because the Joker is about to break into song-and-dance again? This panel eerily predicts the Michael Jackson "Smooth Criminal" video so accurately, I got temporarily spooked.
Ignoring the giant purple Dalek behind Robin, here's another "art" lesson, kids, which can be summarized as: DON'T.
It's funny, but besides the famous Lex Luthor "forty cakes" panel, this was the other panel I saw somewhere on the Internets, long ago, and it made me want to track this book down.  And it ended up being our next-to-last panel...In hindsight, this was a truly terrible idea, and years of therapy could not undo the damage this book has caused. Some ideas are like that.
Four-hundred-and-eighteen mind-numbing pages later, we have arrived at the end.  
I was so relieved, I almost didn't notice the worst definition of zoo in history, or the fact that Black Canary is doing the Vulcan thingy to Batman's head...or that Green Hawkeye is having a seizure of some sort.  Or that the malformed giant white arm behind Superman is supposed to be connected to Green Lantern...or the fact that Wonder Woman's had a growth spurt....or the way they spelled goodbye as if we were taking dictation for Shakespeare.
But, you know what? None of this matters!  Because it is over! Good-by, and good riddance, SUPER DICTIONARY!


Thrift Store Baragon!! (and How To Do It)

This was a project of mine, during the last week...the hard part is finding a suitable painting: 

Then, another hard part is drawing what you want to scale! (Note: there are a couple of different ways to do this...by hand, or complete a drawing you really like, then re-size it on a photocopier or computer.)

Then, another hard part is scanning it and putting it into Photoshop, so you can have a rough draft, and decide exactly on your placement...(and erase what you don't need):
Finally, the hardest hard part of all...I recommend buying some carbon paper to help you (carefully) transfer your drawing to the painting.
From there on in, the rest is simple....not really, this was another hard part.

But at last, you have a finished work, suitable for a gilded frame...oh wait, it came with one! Even better!
I think this one turned out much better than my first attempt, Thrift-Store Gamera.


THE SUPER DICTIONARY (Part.....Thirteen)

Ok, we can do this! Steady on, stiff upper lip, and all that.  Brace yourselves: the fruits of your labors from going through an arduous work week are, in fact, Part Thirteen of our journey through THE SUPER DICTIONARY.  Sorry.

....but at least we are starting with a winner.  Just read that again, and then read it a few times more.  If there is anyone who can not laugh at this, then you aren't allowed here.  Also, if you know that the popular usage of the word in the late 1970's often referred to cocaine, then this becomes nothing short of a laugh riot.  Explains a lot about this book, but that's been my contention from the letter A.
Welcome to the top; from here on, it's straight down.
What's interesting to me here, is that Superman is pulling.  He is doing the exact opposite of stopping this supposed runaway locomotive.  You merely have to read our previous twelve installments to understand why, but if you don't have the time, it's because Superman is a world-class, grade-A, humongous, car-stacking jerk.
We have seen a handful of archaic entries thus far, but as this is the 1970's, and not the 1870's, this shouldn't even be here.  They are too lazy to illustrate it anyway, and their definition is absurd...what's next, an entry for pantaloonsBustles? Un-corseted Tea Gowns?
Why are green trucks, plural, flying through the air?  Even DC's chimpanzee detective would be suspicious of a "postal" Green Lantern, here.  The bad news is, they sent Supergirl to deal with it.
Twins will be quick to tell you that this definition is offensive.  In the case of identical twins, they may look alike, but are never "a person just like" the other.  That is precisely the two-dimensional, inexperienced prattle that we have come to expect from this book.  On the other hand, if you dress exactly alike, you get what you deserve.  
What was the beginning of this conversation like? 
BLONDE:  "Oh, hello, Lois. Say, is that Clark Kent's twin brother you've got there??"
LOIS:   "..........no."
BLONDE: "Oh, I thought...."
Congratulations! We are now at the point where I forget exactly why I included some of these...Laughing Fish, much?
But hey, we are in the letter U, so things must be looking up.  Unless you are the "person" who drew, excuse me, pasted, this little tableau together.  This is a mess of perspective that M.C. Escher (world-famous rapper) couldn't figure out.  Is Hawkgirl behind, or in front of, Wonder Woman?  It doesn't matter, because the Atom is apparently bigger than her, meaning he is adult-sized, meaning...Aquaman is gigantic.  And, standing on a slope.  Or possibly Flash's feet.  I didn't even yet mention Supergiant.  This picture makes my head hurt.  Don't do this, kids.  Don't ever do this.
Um.  But is it unusual for him to wear Wonder Woman's? Tell us more!
No, Batgirl, I think if you keep standing there and screaming, we will be just fine. And why are they magnetized to the side of a brick wall???
Ladies and Gentlemen, we are in Wackyland.
Yes, yes we do.  We expect him to clean the restrooms at the Hall of Justice, and pick up Batman's cleaning, too.  
My, they were amazingly kind to Aquaman there, weren't they?  I would not have been able to resist changing the word here to useless.  
Really, this picture makes no sense, because he would probably have to be quite flat...but the only thing that would make it funnier is if he was strapped to the arm of a giant Mickey Mouse.  "Little clock that is worn on an arm"...I never.  You insult our intelligence, SUPER DICTIONARY.

If W comes, can Z be far behind? Find out next time.


Ultraman Leo Presents: Everyday Life in Japan

Courtesy of Ultraman Leo, here is "Everyday Life in Japan":


King Kong Trading Card #21 [and others!] (Donruss, 1965)

We have talked about vintage jokey monster trading cards before (here and here are two examples), and I have said before that they were dumb, but innocent.  In 1965, Donruss published a KING KONG series, which is now quite rare, and there were several cards from KING KONG vs GODZILLA, which was a cool move by Donruss.  However, they marred these with obtuse, immature "jokes" about deodorant and mouthwash...which, I would imagine, were lame by 1965.  Anyhow, a seller recently offered all of these, and I picked the least silly one for my own collection (above).
In the interest of fairness and educational opportunities, here are scans of the rest of them, including a wrapper from this rare series.  The backs of the cards were puzzle pieces, which in my case was just a green blob of shrubbery or something, so I didn't scan it.

"...because I am head-butting you."  That makes perfect sense...?

This is a well-used image in the monster trading-card world.

Congratulations! This makes no sense at all.

Note that this image is a paste-up, and includes the original, 1933 Kong with Godzilla, who is suddenly shrimpy.  It probably came straight from Toho like this, because there is another official still that is made like this (see below).