A few posts ago, we looked at packaged examples of the Jumbo [7-inch] Puffy Magnets (called "Magnetic Godzilla Character TV & Cartoon Pals," by their nameless manufacturer, of which there were three different ones:
They look like this on the reverse (this will be important in Part 2):
No adhesive strip, just (extremely weak) crappy magnets inside. I already owned a vending machine backing card that contained the Godzooky magnet shown above:
HOWEVER-- I recently acquired another vending machine backing card from the same line, and guess what was prominently featured? A fourth style of jumbo puffy magnet things:
You just KNOW these were all folded up inside the little plastic egg, and were never right after that...
This brought our total up to four different styles. Now, hold that thought, and let's jump back to another product that this company made, the Magnetic Godzilla Key Chains (featured in this post):
These fine products were sold on a hanging store display, and took the weak, ineffective magnet feature from before and added a key chain, which was precariously placed closely to the edge of the plastic puffy design. Not only would it never hold up keys with a magnet, it would also never hold keys, period, or survive being in your pocket. So, a fine engineering job all around. But, I digress...
These puffy designs also had an internal magnet, but were double-sided in their artwork. (This will also be important for Part 2.) So, how many different key chain designs were available? I sat down and studied them, realizing I had double-counted some a long time ago, which were simply just reverse images of what had already been counted. I finally arrived at sixdifferent designs:
...which can all be found facing the opposite way as well One way to keep track is, one side of the keychain is glossy, and the other is a dull finish. These puffy shapes measured approximately 3 & 1/2 by 2 & 1/2 inches.
You will notice that all four of our Jumbo Puffy Magnets' artwork featured above can be found in this group of images. Therefore, I think it's safe to postulate that there are probably six different Jumbo Puffy Magnets to be found as well, like their key chain counterparts. Here are the remaining two styles:
I've never seen loose or packaged examples of these remaining two, but you can bet that I will be on the lookout from this point forward.
Now, if all of this wasn't too confusing or boring, hang on for Part 2, because all of this closer scrutiny made me realize there is another product that this company made, which I had completely left off of our list for years because I wasn't paying attention, and it is probably the very rarest of all of them, hands down. Stay tuned!
Here is a toy that is completely and totally unique in the long history of toy collecting (I am assuming that in prehistory, people hoarded and fought over neat-looking rocks). It is simultaneously the most craptastic and beautiful toy you will see (all at the same time), in a way unlike anything else, from then or now.
Now, before we go any further, get ready for the best 30 seconds you will spend today (especially if you are at work), so don't miss this:
Let's talk about this commercial for a moment--can you imagine the boardroom table discussion? "Just get some banjo music, and list out what this toy does." "But sir, it doesn't even rhyme!" "Nevermind that, we have another 135 commercials to make by lunch!"
There was a whole percentage of kids who saw that commercial--who grew up on farms or in rural areas--who were completely unfazed, and responded with "oh well...is it time for Captain Caveman yet?" While the rest of us viewers went WAIT WHAT JUST HAPPENED? Maybe you went on a field trip in grade school, and maybe you milked a cow once....and maybe not.
Either way, Kenner to the rescue! Finally, a toy would be available to give kids that exact experience, and without having to get up at 3 in the morning to do it. But how to best replicate this activity? You couldn't just fill a plastic cow with actual milk; it would instantly get stinky. (Think about how many plastic lunch box Thermoses you went through as a kid; you could get evil spirits out before you could ever get the milk-rot completely gone. In all of nature, only eggs are more powerful in their unrelenting stench. And...skunks of course, but I'm getting way off track.) The answer came in what Kenner called "milk pills." Unfortunately, I can't tell you their chemical ingredients, but I bet it's calcium something-or-other and some kind of starch or pigment. You literally disconnected the udders and placed a pill inside. When the water passed over it, it released a thin white liquid into the pail, as you saw in the ad.
Pull this. Hey, photographer! Rude!
Then, grab a hold of this...hey! Don't get in a lady's business!
You could even order extra milk pills from Kenner, at the rate of 40 shipped for ONE DOLLAR. (Turns out, they really did care.)
At that point, we have a whole new set of problems, because in the late 70's, you couldn't even give a kid a container of paste (or a jar of Play-Doh) without it going straight into their mouths. Kenner wasted no time, in about 32 places, to tell you not to actually drink the liquid that you ran through Milky. Here is Milky's bucket, for example:
And, it's all over the paperwork we will see shortly, but, you know without even thinking about it what kids did. What I want to know is, did it cause any sickness, injury, or eventual lives of crime? Heck, or even Aqua-Dots-level lawsuits.
They were just as insistent on the front end about the water you use with Milky. Her trough also has a subliminal message:
Once again, you just know that kids experimented with making Milky drink the wrong things. I have no doubt that several poor Milkys sucked up paint, gasoline, or even carbonated water, and then blew up like a super soaker.
Here is what was included with your new friend: a trough to drink from, a pail, and a plastic playmat very similar to what was included with Play-Doh sets of the day (also Kenner).
Put it all together, and she stands majestically, awaiting your cold hands:
Now, let's look at the included paperwork. Here are the instructions, meant for parents:
Simply disconnect the udder, just like a real cow!
The second page is down to business: "IT'S MILKING TIME." Can you even get through this page without laughing?
And yes, I am 12 years old.
The one thing I am not brave enough to do is to try and go through the motions with mine and get it to "moo," being afraid I will break it, but I really want to hear what she sounds like. The instructions say, "If Milky does not moo, shake her gently," also just like a real cow!
But that's not all! Being Kenner, and being the late 70's, a color storybook was included for kids, featuring "Marko and Melissa Milkdrop." (Don't worry, Kenner, Star Wars was coming.) And here it is:
Quoth the Milky, "Mooo!"
"And then we meet our tragic deaths, ARRGGGHHH"
Is there anything more adorable and unabashedly 1970's pureness than that?
Also: still 12 years old.
This is the part where I admit to you that I actually own two of this toy. I have the complete, boxed one, and a loose Milky on top of a display case (although that just sounds wrong, or at least very messy). So, why do I love this toy so much?
I am probably a bit biased.
It's a complicated mix of nostaliga for simpler times, appreciating the absurdity of it as a toy, the braveness and innovation to produce it, and....well, just look at that face:
Here is a gem that I didn't know existed. I stumbled onto it while buying something else on Discogs (I always look through the seller's store to see what else they have; it saves shipping anyroad). These are not your cheesy or ordinary, run-of-the-mill space sound effects that would later become more common...these are OG, hard-core jewels of newborn electronica, hearkening back to roomfuls of oscillators, filters, and endless dials below shining screens. In other words, made the old-fashioned way!
Whether you admire the Radiophonic Workshop, the electronic soundtrack to FORBIDDEN PLANET, or even if you just love electronic sounds, this is for you.
A few points of interest:
1) Interestingly, the track numbering just continues onto the second side, even continuing the track where side A left off.
2) At the start of side A, you may think nothing is happening at first, but then something becomes apparent, slowly, and from far away, and then, when you least expect it...WHAM! The "approaching missile or creature" hits you with an impact that has texture, which I figure must've involved the strings of a piano somehow (think Jango Fett's torpedoes in Episode II). I was hooked after this opening track.
3) The last track on side B--seemingly--ends in a locked groove. At least, I think it does. There were no issues at all with my copy otherwise, and I'd be shocked to think there was a skip right at the very extreme end of the last seconds of the last track...maybe the makers were having a little joke. I can't find any verification online, but that's what I believe is happening!
4) I would love to hear an audio adventure made using these tracks. Whereas later sound effects collections would focus more on short sounds (like laser guns), this one does a very good job supplying background, ambient, environmental sounds of what it would sound like both inside and outside of a spaceship.
It's with great sadness that I report on the passing of icon (and friend and hero to this blog) Tom Lehrer: comedian, satirist, teacher of math, and quite an excellent piano player.
Several years back, when I made my first attempt at collecting all of the existing non-album tracks in my TOM LEHRER RARITIES series, Mr. Lehrer heard about it and reached out to me. Not only was he completely supportive and gracious--giving me full permission to host his material on this blog--BUT I even had the privilege of exchanging letters with him a few times...and young me, who grew up with cassettes of Tom Lehrer albums played in the family car (thanks to my father), never would have believed in a million years I would ever have that opportunity. It was awesome, and I'll always treasure those letters.
That said, a quick search of his name on this blog will show you all of the rarities that you can download, where they have a permanent home. That's how we celebrate Tom Lehrer's legacy around here.
TOM LEHRER RARITIES (Volumes 1-5)
HEY YOU GUYS! ELECTRIC COMPANY COLLECTION (2 discs)
VOICES OF VISTA #33
TOM LEHRER DISCOVERS AUSTRALIA/SONGS BY TOM LEHRER (remake)
Here is an awesome discovery! This was discovered by The H-Man, friend to The Sphinx and expert on all manner of Godzilla-and-related video releases (check out his channel). He contact me to say that he had been researching the old Lindberg model kit from 1995...
...and in doing so, uncovered an Ebay listing for a 1995 Lindberg Dealer Catalog...
...which not only showed their cool Godzilla kit, but also one for Rodan! Who knew?
This lovely-looking kit would've stood 7.5 inches tall, with a wingspan of 9 inches! Elsewhere in the catalog, it even shows a mock-up of store shelves, showing what your Lindberg inventory would look like...and once again, there is the Rodan kit!
It's too bad that this kit never saw the light of day, for whatever reason. Except for Trendmasters' 1994-96 output, Rodan was certainly getting no love in the U.S. at the time.
I guess a good question would be: what happened to the prototype and/or molds for this kit? Are they in private hands, or were they perhaps destroyed?
Time again to clean out the old hard drive, and share some of the things that I run across during the year...in no particular order:
This is from the inner sleeve of a random record from the 80's. Remember when people actually thought this (or more specifically, when record companies actually worried about this)? Now we know that it was never an issue at all; it was streaming that killed music.
Somebody had one job, and failed miserably.
Here is half of a Millennium Falcon from a flea market--where they thought they would get 50 bucks, mind you--with a Hobbit bound to it with plastic and packing tape. Sigh.
Instead let's look at the comics...oh my, some kid was bored back in the day!
Speaking of comics, here is a random vintage panel that I want a T-shirt of. I think it was a Charlton comic, and I should have paid better attention.
This probably came from the same comic. "FUN AT PARTIES...SOLVES RIDDLES...EVEN TELLS FORTUNES." Somehow I think not. "TRAIN IT TO DO YOUR BIDDING." Just try me.
Ah yes, the "Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft" era. "WELCOME SPACE BROTHERS"...to our frisbee golf course.
This is one of those covers that you've probably seen somewhere, but I actually found this for a couple of bucks, and it cracks me up.
An ant, and his tiny air hockey table.
Again, somebody had one job. Just one job...
When you are two years old, and you get called into work, you have to take the Power Wheels...in the rain, even. That, my friends, is dedication!
Okay, we need to talk about this. This is from some random, generic late 70's magazine trying to cash in on Star Wars mania, and all of the included paintings are direct copies of publicity photos...only, they took the Han Solo in Stormtrooper pose and decided they couldn't get Harrison Ford's likeness right, and, with deadline looming, instead just made it where they BLEW THE STORMTROOPER'S HEAD CLEAN OFF AND MADE IT EXPLODE. What in the world? Is there a person somewhere right now in therapy because they received this as a child? I am traumatized right now!
We have talked about the wonder that was THE ELECTRIC COMPANY around here (a 3-CD audio retrospective is on this blog; first disc can be found here; search for the other two), but there was another entire facet to its awesomeness, and that was THE ELECTRIC COMPANY MAGAZINE. This publication ran from 1974 to 1988, with a run of 146 issues, and it brought great joy to many a mailbox (this author's included). Nearly every month of the year it brought games, puzzles, stories, jokes, entertainment articles, and unique Spider-Man comics that can be found nowhere else. It was a great time to be alive.
Kids' magazines often featured activities, posters, board games, and things to cut out, and as such usually didn't survive, so this can be a tough magazine to go back and find...so far online I have found only one issue that has been completely scanned, but I've bought several lots over the past months, and have noticed our favorite kaiju popping up from time to time.
This list is by no means complete, but there is more than enough here to warrant a look! [By the way, I am sure these issues fall under the "Unauthorized, but who cares" category!]
ISSUE 29 (October 1976)
The yearly Halloween issues were often looked forward to with great anticipation, and this one doesn't disappoint. In fact, it gives us the most Godzilla content I have seen yet...is it any surprise that GODZILLA vs. MEGALON had been a huge hit that summer?
For starters, the inside cover is a solarized poster of a popular still from KING OF THE MONSTERS! It took all year to find one that still had the cover intact and non-removed...here is the image stitched together:
Elsewhere in the same issue is a feature where you match the monster to what they (probably) looked like as a baby....and in the course of doing so, the magazine accidentally predicted Godzilla's partnership with Dr. Pepper nearly a decade later!!!! Wha?
Next comes a feature story where kids were interviewed about their favorite monsters:
Get your fingers out of your mouth, sweetie...
Finally, a FOURTH Godzilla appearance--which even includes Rodan--yes, kids in the 70's knew who Rodan was. Why not take a break and do a word search? Also, points for naming all of the films shown!
ISSUE 31 (December 1976)
This issue (which is incorrectly labeled as "Number 30, November 1976" on the inside) contains a spread of photos for you to caption. Lo and behold, there is Godzilla...and Gabara, of all things:
They don't supply a caption, so you are supposed to make up your own. If you have a good one, let me know!
ISSUE 56 (October 1979)
Another awesome Halloween issue, and we are into the Hanna-Barbera Saturday morning cartoon timeline. Godzilla was featured in an article called "Welcome To The Haunted High Class of 1979:"
Note the Ebirah claw there!
Also, there is a two-page MONSTER MAP that may be my favorite piece yet. It's suitable for framing and even includes Mothra and Gorgo, but also REPTILICUS!
I could look at this all day!
ISSUE 69 (October 1980)
I am sensing a pattern here with the Halloween issues. This issue stresses the difference between real and make-believe monsters:
Interestingly, no Godzilla photos are used this time, only artwork.
ISSUE 135 (June 1987)
This non-Halloween issue, from near the very end of the run, sneaks in an Imperial Godzilla! Well, not really sneaks, they name-check him:
Hey, somebody marked him out at the bottom....that would've been the first thing I circled! Vacation packing: clean underwear, toothbrush, Imperial inflatable Godzilla.
This lot is all that I have run into so far, but you can be sure that any further discoveries will be posted here.
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