The RODAN NES Game That Never Was!

 

Take a look at this small poster, which you have probably seen before.  It's really too small to be called a poster, and too big to be a flyer (it measures a strange 11.75 x 15.75 inches).  This was a folded insert that was included with later copies of the first Godzilla game that was made for the Nintendo Entertainment System, called MONSTER OF MONSTERS, and as such is pretty rare.

The insert announces Toho's foray into these video games that the kids all like.  My understanding is that they distributed these games, as they were made by different companies.  As you can see, MONSTER OF MONSTERS gets top billing, and the Game Boy GODZILLA game wasn't even out yet.  Moving downward, we are told that CIRCUS CAPER exists.  I could make fun of this game for a moment, because it was really pretty awful, but it did attempt the "cinematic adventure" quality that they promised, which games were just beginning to figure out that they could do, so I think that's a fair assessment.  

This flyer even calls Circus Caper the "MOST FASCINATING GAME EVER"! Now, come on!

I don't have any experience with TIMES OF LORE.  From my looking it up, it was available on several home computer platforms in addition to the NES, and was actually made by Origin Systems, whose logo is shown here.  It was a pretty complex game for the time and boasted "13,000 screens of map."

Now we get to the main reason that we are having this discussion--the infamous RODAN game that was promised for the next year...and never materialized.  The text doesn't give us much information:  "A giant flying reptile assaults the earth! Rodan, Godzilla's arch enemy! Now an exciting NES game!" 

I'm not exactly sure where "arch enemy" came from; I mean, Rodan pecked at Godzilla briefly in GHIDRAH THE THREE HEADED MONSTER, and GODZILLA vs. MECHAGODZILLA II hadn't happened yet, so it's weird.  Did this game morph slowly into the MONSTER OF MONSTERS sequel (which was the strategy game GODZILLA 2: WAR OF THE MONSTERS)? Rodan was in that game, so who knows.  I do know that a straight-up Rodan video game wouldn't work very well, or be fun for very long.  It's a very strange choice! This article says that Toho decided such a game wouldn't sell very well, so add this game to the pile of Godzilla concepts that never made it to fruition.

Various Artists - SPACEBREAKS (Uranus Records, 2001)

 

We have some big things in the pipeline here at The Sphinx (Don Adams voice:  "would you believe.....another TV station master tape????!!!")...but you'll have to hold on a while longer for those...but they will be worth waiting for!

Meanwhile, here is a true rarity that's been on my list to post since last year, and you will find it nowhere else.  In fact, it's not on Youtube, not on Ebay, and only two copies now show as being for sale in the USA on Discogs.  I bought this without knowing anything about it, and the gamble I took was well worth it, because this record is righteous.  

"A journey through intergalactic jazz and cosmic funk" is what the notes say on Discogs, and that only begins to cover it.  Otherwise there is no info to be found anywhere.  Somebody has done the crate-digging for you, 20-plus years ago, and assembled this masterpiece that you'll enjoy. 

So, is it a DJ record or a vinyl collector's dream? Well, it kills two birds here, because it's not only incredible instrumentals, but also breakbeat-type snippets in between each track that you could use. I could go on here, but there's no need.  It's that good. Enjoy!

SPACEBREAKS (2001)

Godspeed, Neal Adams

 

This of course is not a news blog, but I was saddened to hear about the death of Neal Adams on April 28th.  The medium of comics cannot bear to lose any more of its luminaries, because the list of those that remain is extremely, painfully short.  And luminary he was.

I was fortunate enough to meet Mr. Adams (and his lovely wife) in 2016, and although he had a reputation as a bit of a curmudgeon, he was completely affable and charming, and honestly too big for the show he graciously attended.  

I chose the comic above for him to sign, and after I handed it to him, he joked "What is this? I haven't seen this before..." After he had signed it, he produced a large holographic sticker, which was the Certificate of Authenticity, and told me he would have to apply it to the back cover of the comic.  I told him, respectfully, he could do whatever he wanted to do!  Like I am going to meet Neal Adams, and then flip out over a sticker that only serves to authenticate his signature in the first place.  I imagine somebody did, though, and I hope he let them have it...and I'm sure he did!

Announcing: The GODZILLA TRENDMASTERS (1994-97) Checklist Page!

It's time to rectify a long-standing problem! Seems like ever since we lost Club Tokyo and other sites, there hasn't been a good site attempting to accurately list all of the Godzilla toys made by the once-great Trendmasters.  There are a few scattered websites with lots of varying information, but nothing that seems to put it all together.  Add to that the magic of nostalgia (the 90's was like 20 years ago.....right?!), as well as the sheer crap-ton of product that they made, and it deserves its own section in Godzilla history.  Using various information out there in addition to years of combing Ebay, and even some access to vintage Trendmasters dealer catalogs, we will now have a definitive guide to what exists.

I vividly remember standing in a Wal-Mart in 1994 or 95, looking at this label on Trendmasters figures, and thinking GODZILLA WARS was the title of the next film coming in Japan!

There were three main Trendmasters Godzilla lines:

GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS (1994-95)

GODZILLA WARS (1995-96)

GODZILLA: DOOM ISLAND (1997, which unfortunately never made it to stores in the United States)

(They also made toys that no one wanted for the first American film, but this isn't the place to cover that.) 

You will find the link to this new section on the left side of this page, where the other guides can be found.  The plan is to eventually expand it to include photos of each product, which of course will probably necessitate that it splits into a page for each of the Trendmasters eras.  There is also a complete checklist for known Trendmasters trading cards.  As always, any new information will be added, but this should be the most complete list that's out there.  Enjoy!

Improve Your Eyesight Without Glasses (Wolf Records, 1977)

 

Alright, no preamble about how I post these to make fun of.  This record is unadulterated crap, and I am not too sure whether it might not be adulterated, to tell you the truth.

The good news is, it's rife with excellent fodder for samples.  The bad news is, it's going to insult your intelligence to the utmost limit of your endurance to get there.  

Often I post goofy comments, and people correct me, and that's fine of course; most of you are posting from free countries.  But, here is my understanding, and this is important (not being a doctor, and not going to eye-doctor school to be a doctor):  there are many types of various eye problems, and they all require different types of specific treatment, and I am unaware of ANY that can be cured by positive thinking and imagining geese.  There, I just gave you free important medical advice, and I'm not even qualified to do so.  Neither is this record.

I'm sure there is fine print here that I didn't read, absolving them from lots of lawsuits from people who thought they could correct their vision with an LP.  Speaking of lawsuits, one clue about this record is that it was reissued, removing the "Without Glasses" part of the title:

That means....something.

I could go on and use the word "scam" a lot, but really, less is more here.  Take this record for what it is.  Each side is quite long (around 30 minutes), and something about trying to listen to it all at once fills me with rage, but maybe if you take it a side at a time, you might find it more entertaining.  

What it consists of is a smooth-voiced narrator, who has all the qualifications to be an excellent automated phone tree, intoning endlessly over what used to be called "elevator music" or "hotel lounge music" back when those were things.  The record includes several diagrams and eye charts, but don't worry, they will hardly be mentioned here; you can doodle on them.  Instead, the narrator will tell you to do lots of imagining things like bowling, lots of staring out the window, and lots of staring at the spaces between letters.  My old psychology professor would've referred to all of this as "navel gazing."  

I left out how you are supposed to listen to this record every day.  Imagine that, as you try to get through it once.  Also imagine that some poor sap gave out some of their hard-earned money for it.  He can't remember how much he paid for it though...he can't read the receipt, because he threw his glasses away when he bought the album.

Just in the last few weeks, this blog has improved the very world itself:  We have posted LP's to make your plants grow, to improve your memory, and now this.  We should get a government grant for all of these services that we provide!

LINK:  Improve Your Eyesight Without Glasses

Chevrolet Sings Of Safe Driving And You (Columbia Special Products, 1965)

 

It becomes a pattern around here that I find a strange or unusual record, clean it up to post and perhaps make fun of, and then end up liking it, or realizing it's not really worthy of snarky comments.  Some of these records end up being useful (or even helpful) to people, or at the very least entertaining, and then I feel bad for skewering them.  The good news is, they've been preserved and shared.  No media should ever end up truly lost and gone forever (well, except for the film TITANIC; that needs to die).

So what we have here is a 12-inch record that contains 8 songs about driving, but the whole thing only adds up to a mere 17 minutes! This may have been purposeful, to keep the whole thing brief, as it's not exactly clear how this record was even distributed.  Schools? Driving instructors? Who knows.

Another interesting point about this record is that it came out in 1965, as "folk-rock" was becoming huge, but--from an adult perspective--what better way to reach 15 or 16 year old kids? We can laugh at McGruff the Crime Dog trying in vain to rap about crack and cocaine (and we really, really should), but the reason things like that are hilarious is that somebody is trying too hard to accomplish something that's dishonest to what they are even capable of, and it utterly fails.  The songs on this album, however, are competently written, played, and sung (one of the voices is Carly Simon, by the way).  

Now, what we can laugh at is the notion of singing about driving, which is a little bit like dancing about heart surgery.  To me, educational songs are most useful when they help you remember lists or facts and figures (Schoolhouse Rock being the most successful  example).  The songwriter here does try to pack in some useful information, but some of it ends up being spoken, which always comes across as a little awkward.  Also, we can look at the concept of this project from a junior high perspective, that of the recipient...where a stodgy, un-hip adult would hand you this LP, or maybe play it for the whole class.  If it was seen as a failed attempt to be cool, it of course would be universally ridiculed.  

So, this post is nearly longer than the actual record, BUT, the short version is:  it's really not that bad, but you may get a laugh out of it.  I should point out that there is a version on YouTube, but it's quite skippy, and I went with my own work here, which sounds much better.  Enjoy!

LINK:  Chevrolet Sings Of Safe Driving And You

STARLOG POSTER MAGAZINE (Vol. 1, 1983)

 

It's not often that we get to add a "new" vintage item to our Chronological List of American Godzilla Items, but here is one I had overlooked until now.  STARLOG magazine put out many all-poster issues over the years, but the first was in 1983, and featured Godzilla as one of the double-sided, pull-out posters.

Inside was a one-page feature on each of the posters.  This Godzilla article starts strong, but ends up repeating the legendary goof that there were two different endings to KING KONG VS. GODZILLA, which was often stated over the years in American publications.  They do a good job pointing out that the Godzilla poster included features the art used in the Italian colorized edit that fans now refer to as "Cozilla":

A version of which was also included with the first-ever issue of FANGORIA, in 1979.

The folded posters stapled into the magazine, and as you flip though, you will see some unintentional horrors, such as below!

Gaaaahhh!!!

VARAN THE UNBELIEVABLE Pressbook ("Showmanship Manual") [Crown Int'l, 1962]

 

Today, we look at a real rarity.  VARAN THE UNBELIEVABLE had a troubled history, was cut to ribbons for the US, and is often overlooked.  It's funny; I own quite a few pressbooks, but this one is the most difficultly-sized that I've seen.  It measures 16 & 3/4" by a bizarre 16 & 3/32" which actually works out more evenly to centimeters, which was strange for the times. It's going to be a nightmare to store properly. 

But, let's walk through it together.  First, the usual: movie synopsis, yadda yadda.

Next, the usual fodder for things that look like newspaper articles, but are really paid spots bought by local theatres in local newspapers.  Did you know the lead actress cooked knishes for the cast? I wonder if she knew that.  My favorite part of this entire page is where they give you the text to take out an article saying that the events in this film could really happen, because people have seen the Loch Ness Monster.  Huh.

The second-best part of any vintage pressbook, though, is where you got to see the vintage ads and artwork. This film was lucky to have poster art that is simultaneously great and eye-catching (the upper half), and also rather ridiculous (the lower half) at the same time. I had more to say about that, but I looked too long at the fleeing crowd that's too stupid to know how to run away, and forgot it.

And now we come to the very best part of all, and also my favorite:  the BALLYHOO.  What is the point of booking a monster movie, specifically an Americanized Toho kaiju movie, if you can't promote it insanely? "But wait, we (the recipients of this book) are too dumb to do that.  Thinking is hard...give us the ideas!" Well, you asked for it:

So, let's run down some of their suggestions:

1) "Why not arrange a window" that's made of the contents of your local toy store.  I wasn't even there in 1962, and I know that would've been next to impossible, especially in Smallville, USA.  Also, they expect you to have "blowups and stills from the picture" made to decorate your "window." Which would've been outrageously expensive (these pressbooks never give a thought to the budget of what they are suggesting)...it also just struck me that your average theatre didn't have a giant, Macy's-style display window, because that defeats the purpose of keeping it dark inside, to actually watch movies.

2) Go to your local museum that is filled with "pre-historic animals" and get them, and fill up the lobby with them.  You are also given permission here to use their "pre-historic artifacts."  I mean, why didn't I think of that? Oh, because it has almost nothing to do with the film we are trying to promote, and also involves lots of crimes.  And again, your average town wouldn't have anything remotely like that, anyhow.  I always ask this question here, but:  did anybody actually try any of these suggestions???? It's not as insane as the part where one of the previous pressbooks we have looked at tells you to get live weapons and munitions from the local armory (which one was that, FRANKENSTEIN CONQUERS THE WORLD, maybe?)...but still entertaining.

3) Run a "You Won't Believe It Contest."  What is that? They don't know either.  "Just as the experiences of the people in 'VARAN' make for an incredible story, so it is true that many people have unbelievable experiences in their lifetimes." Let's hear for the millionth time about how Grandpa shot down a UFO in World War I that was filled with pink fairies who somehow sang all of the Billboard Singles Chart from June 13, 1967. That will then make us want to see VARAN THE UNBELIEVABLE, for sure.

4) Finally, and the laziest of all, you are encouraged to talk a local store into slashing their prices so much, it would be an UNBELIEVABLE sale.  Now, points for actually giving us an idea that wouldn't cost the theatre a fortune...but, simply put, nobody did this.  Ever.

To collectors like me, who are not rational human beings, the most valuable part of a pressbook is on this page as well, because this is  where you find out what non-poster promotional items were produced for this film.  Here we are given a nugget of pure gold, because they tell us a record of radio spots exists--somewhere--for this film.  It has never surfaced in all of these years [what I mean is that it hasn't been digitized and shared by anyone, which is what we would do here on this blog], but, like Varan himself, it's at the bottom of a lake somewhere.  We are also told that the following items exist:  a TV slide, TV spots of 2 lengths, a theatrical trailer, and a teaser trailer.  But let's not overlook the most exciting part of this great page:

The Varan Coloring Contest! I am sure you agree that this is completely and totally awesome, and probably the best thing you've seen all day.  I would have to look back in my past pressbook reviews, but I don't remember too many coloring contests from Toho films.  GIGANTIS THE FIRE MONSTER had one, I recall.  It's hard to put into words how great this concept is.  We can laugh at the ridiculous ballyhoo suggestions, but a Varan Coloring Contest with movie tickets as prizes is a top-notch idea that is actually worth doing.

When it comes to making your list of what items were actually produced for a film, the rest of the story is usually found on the back cover of the pressbook, where you find out about poster sizes and lobby cards, and then imagine owning them all.

I should mention here that VARAN THE UNBELIEVABLE is still a rare film, even in this modern day.  There is an out-of-print Tokyo Shock DVD from 2005 with 2 cuts of the Japanese original, but it does not contain this American version.  VARAN was put out on home video a couple of times in the VHS days (a Beta tape also exists), but it stopped there.  The good news is, there is a very inexpensive DVD available on Amazon that pretends to be authentic, but it's obviously sourced from one of the old VHS versions.  But, it's better than nothing, and will have to do, because I can tell you that preserving American dubs (never mind American recuts) is not on Toho's "to-do list."

KING KONG vs GODZILLA BATTLE OF THE BEASTS (Movie Viewer Cassette A008, Fascinations, 1988)

 

A few years ago, a random auction turned up on Ebay that included several loose cartridges for a movie viewer of some kind.  It included this KING KONG vs GODZILLA one, which was really strange.  I tried my best to research it, but very little information could be found at the time, and it appeared this item was never sold in the United States...which has turned out to be false!  Here is the history I have pieced together since then:  at some point in the late 1970's, a movie-viewer toy appeared. It was battery-powered, and was the descendant of the old hand-cranked kind from the earlier 1970's (such as famously made Fisher-Price, and fondly remembered by many a former tyke).  This first powered product was called "Mini Movi," and was made by a company called Apollo and sold around Europe.  Apollo's cartridges included cartoons, animation of Marvel superheroes, and, somehow, this KING KONG vs GODZILLA BATTLE OF THE BEASTS title.  Packaged photos of Apollo's Godzilla title are nowhere to be found, unfortunately, but here is what their product looked like, below.

Next, Galoob steps in, and buys the product outright, to offer in the United States as "SNEAK PREVIEWS" (terrible name) in 1983-84:

Apologies, but you will note the front and back examples don't match, and are from different cartridges! But you get the point.

It does NOT appear that the Godzilla cartridge was part of the Galoob line, which is interesting.  This toy came and went, and the product next appeared as the "Micro Movie Viewer," made by a company called Fascinations, from Seattle, Washington, in 1988.  This, too was offered in the United States, but now the Godzilla cassette was back in the lineup! And finally, a carded example has surfaced at last, which I was fortunate enough to pounce upon like a rabid lioness!  For completeness, here is what the Fascinations viewer looked like (which came in several colors):

Fascinations continued to make the product for several years, but eventually, of course, it would no longer be cool for kids to carry around a bunch of short films to watch on a pocket viewer that burned up AA batteries, and the idea seems to have finally died out.

As you can see from Fascination's list of other titles available, the makers intended to have more than public-domain cartoon clips (badly misspelling "Popeye"), and even included some "educational" titles such as a bridge collapsing (wait, what?).  

One thing I should point out is, these things are much smaller in person than you would think! The backing card for this is 3x5 inches!

Getting back to our subject at hand, what was the contents of this Kong and Godzilla cassette, exactly? A logical guess would be, perhaps, the American trailer for the film? Let's see, the U.S. release would've been 25 years old by that time.  Movie trailers always seem to fall through the cracks when it comes to public domain, but I guess that would be a question for Universal.  Or, it could be that the makers of the original cassette (which I guess goes back to the first manufacturers, according to a list of titles I found) just didn't care.  

What probably needs to happen is, a trustworthy blog with a historical bent needs to get hold of a lot of these cartridges that includes a loose Godzilla one, and make it available somehow for posterity!  Kenner's Star Wars viewer (that was based on the Fisher-Price hand-cranked one) turned out to use 8mm film inside their cartridges, which made those films possible to convert...so who knows.  I will add that project to my list, because that one may take a while!

Huck-Yogi and Quick Draw's MAGIC RECORD (Mark 56, 1961)

 

Here is a rarity I've had on my want list for a long time, and until now, there had been ONE copy on Discogs, that being the one used to add it to the database, and NONE had ever sold.  When one suddenly surfaced, I jumped on it.

First, a little backstory:  I've always been fascinated with the fact that records with multiple, concentric grooves actually exist, enabling you to get seemingly random results by dropping the needle.  The first time I ever ran into this, like many collectors, was the famous Monty Python MATCHING TIE AND HANDKERCHIEF album, which I still have.  It turns out the trick was much older than that, and actually goes way back.  (We posted another album that utilizes it during Halloween; see John Zacherley's SCARY TALES for another example that doesn't tell the buyer what's going on!) This 45, however, does let you in on the action.

All over this record--front, back, and labels--the title is strangely written as "HUCK[hyphen]YOGI AND QUICK DRAW'S MAGIC RECORD" and I can't make that make any grammatical sense, no matter how hard I try.

First, the good news.  The "Magic Side" of this 45 gives you three possibilities for what you will hear:  Yogi Bear singing his theme song, Quick Draw McGraw singing his theme song, or...somebody singing Huckleberry Hound's (who may be trying to sound like Gabby Hayes).  Each of these tracks is less than a minute long, and provided kids with a cool parlor trick to show their friends.  The flip side is actually better than the Magic Side, as Yogi demonstrates his piano skills, and Huck won't stop playing the drums ("How do I unplug the drums?!" Yogi wonders.)

However, the bad news is, Daws Butler is nowhere to be heard.  It's instead a sound-alike who shows up for our record.  Now, he's not totally terrible, and spends the majority of his time doing his Art Carney to sound like Yogi, which is passable.  And Huck never speaks at all, which is probably for the best.  

Which leads me to something that I'm wondering about...my copy looks exactly like the one above, the one used for the database entry.  I mean, down to the exact label in the upper corner, which, by the way, says:  "Compliments of ORANGEFAIR SHOPPING CENTER."  Was this record only promotional, and not sold in stores? Was it only given out by the Orangefair Shopping Center? If so, perhaps this explains the use of a sound-alike, and the fact that it's on the Mark 56 label instead of Colpix or Golden or something else Hanna-Barbera would've been on at that time.  Maybe this wasn't intended for retail release, at all.  I hope one day, we will know for sure.  Until then, enjoy this very rare record.  From my searches, you won't hear it ANYWHERE else!

LINK:  Huck-Yogi and Quick Draw's MAGIC RECORD

Nu-Card "Horror Monster Series" - #74, The Mysterians (1961)

 

Today, here is another in the beloved Nu-Card "Horror Monster Series" from 1961, featuring a cool painting of Moguera from THE MYSTERIANS.  You can see more of the artwork (and in color) on one of the American lobby cards for the film:

Incidentally, the robot's name did not originally have the "U" in it.  You started to see this more in the Heisei era, when the robot's name became an acronym that used the letter.  As it turns out, "Mogera" is a genus of mammals in the mole family, which further highlights his digging capabilities, I guess! [NOTE: I am told that the Japanese word for "mole" is also Mogera, so there you go.]

And now, the dreaded terrible joke on the back of the card:

I started to apologize in advance, but decided to go with "better to ask for forgiveness than permission."  Let's bring this back to the subject: I think that's supposed to be Mogera in the artwork on the back of the card...kinda sorta.

Harry Lorayne's INSTANT MEMORY COURSE (Pickwick International, 1961)

 

In the beginning of the 1960's, giant floating head was visual shorthand that you were about to learn something.  I think it had something to do with the target audience having seen THE WIZARD OF OZ a lot as kids.  For my generation, it was a glowing airbrushed grid that receded into the distance, which was on the front of most schoolbooks, Trapper Keepers, and anywhere else it could possibly be crammed.

But I'm way off the subject already.  This blog often has quite an educational--no, let's use the word useful--component to it, and here is yet another thing that will be practical to your everyday lives.  Behold:  the INSTANT MEMORY COURSE.

Sometimes, I find these things, intending to joke about them or use them as samples, and upon further investigation, completely change my mind.  I mean, I'm not passing up a record like this when I flip past it...however, it's actually very good.  I have a book from this era on this very same subject (probably even written by Mr. Lorayne, come to think of it), and I can tell you that these tactics work, and work well.  I was very lucky that the booklet was also included with my copy, which of course I've included here in the download.  Unfortunately--and this time, I really am not intending to make a bad pun here--I kind of "forgot" about these principles over time.  Listening to this record made me think I need to start using them again.  Try it for yourself, and see.  

LINK:  INSTANT MEMORY COURSE

Music To Grow Plants (E.S.C., 1970)

 

The full title of this release is "Music To Grow Plants, Presented By Dr. George Milstein."  It's from 1970, and is actually a very rare LP.  It originally included a flyer and a packet of seeds.  I actually found mine in a remote Game Exchange for $1.99, believe it or not.

Each side is one long, unlabeled, uncredited track.  Besides just being completely wacky, this record is popular because the music is the smarmiest, most upbeat "elevator music" you've ever heard.  It gives me late-60's British vibes, and must subconsciously remind me of some shows or movies.  I haven't quite put my finger on it yet.

There is one further point to mention.  In between each song (and also during), there is a shrill, high-pitched electronic tone.  I figured this had something to do with the concept, and sure enough, the back of the jacket tells us this:

So, since plants don't have ears, I suppose the theory is that different vibrations can have effects on them.  I wonder if this theory continued to be studied, or was considered a...botanical outlier (use that phrase in a sentence today at work, and earn extra points!).  We know this sort of theory has merit, because of two reasons:  first, they used to play horrible pop music incessantly to break prisoners of war, and secondly, they do that to me every time I go into a retail store or Five Below.

This tone will pop up and become obvious at various times in this recording, and it dawned on me this morning that it could probably be removed using Audacity (which is a free program), which has a great capability for removing unwanted levels of sounds, and works well for rumble or hiss when cleaning up recordings.  

Or, hey! You may even want to try playing this record repeatedly as intended, and see if your own houseplants respond.  All our bread molded, so I had to stop.

LINK: Music To Grow Plants

DYNAMITE Magazine: "All In The Family - Monster Style" (Vol. 3, No. 1, July 1979)

 

Remember school book orders? Are those still a thing? We had Scholastic book orders, and they were a blast.  While at home, I had a subscription to ELECTRIC COMPANY magazine, through the book orders, we could get cool magazines like HOT DOG or DYNAMITE, and as a result, we were well-informed in the department of Cool Things.  

And speaking of DYNAMITE, which Scholastic published themselves, here is an article from the July 1979 issue, about the interesting subject of monster lineage! I suppose the title of "All In The Family" was still on people's minds at that time; in fact, the popular sitcom actually ended that year, and the title is used here to introduce the article.  

One thing people don't understand about the late 1970's was, it was a time when a kids' magazine could allude to DRACULA'S DAUGHTER...FRANKENSTEIN'S DAUGHTER...and, hope you are sitting down, even DR. JEKYLL AND SISTER HYDE (wait, really?) without even blinking. Thereby piquing the curiosity of many a small mind...including my small mind (insert laugh here).

Unfortunately, when the article comes to the subject of SON OF GODZILLA, it sort of just uses it as a joke, which was too bad, but typical of the dearth of decent Godzilla information from that time period in America.

I really like the illustration of the Fly child, with Fly doll (with Mouse pants, even).

There were further bonuses in this issue:  a large poster of hidden pictures, and a cardstock Monster Family Portrait!

You can sort of see this in the scan, but the idea was that you would punch out the faces of each monster in the portrait, and then stick photos of your friends and family behind it, where their faces would show through.  Pretty cute...but, can we talk about the extreme scale problem here? Nevermind that Minya looks like the alligator from Pogo. All hail the late 1970s!