THE SUPER DICTIONARY (Part Seven)

Look out!  Your day is about to be ruined.....from out of the sky, here comes: THE SUPER DICTIONARY.

I knew I needed this book.  Mostly because I wanted to see for myself if the high level of craptastic-ness held up throughout its entirety.  I figured there was no way possible that any book (short of cat-lady fantasy-porn) could be so backasswardsly inane, so obtusely retarded; all under the guise of elementary-school education.  I was wrong.  It IS possible.  It is SO possible.  It is completely, entirely possible.

I don't know where to begin, here...so many directions are open to me; it's like standing at a veritable crossroads of  village-idiotitude.  Let's begin slowly, by looking at the Cleverbot-with-a-brain-injury text in the yellow box.  I defy you to make some sense of that.
Assuring you that I am desperately trying to keep my comments above-board and something my own Children could read (but I am struggling mightily here, friends), let's just try to take this at face value...okay, he covered Superman in paint (starting at the, er, middle), but he wants to.....Nevermind, it can't be done! I was going to challenge the syntax of this, but I just lost the ability, because I just read the phrase "wet gold coating" again.  Lex Luthor (in protective metal gloves?) may be terrible, as we have learned earlier, but he is also a complete freak.

This is one of those panels that just speaks for itself.

The Penguin is a baaaaad man.  If he feels like it, he will steal a shovel.  A snow shovel, even.  He simply doesn't care.  Actually, I'm not condoning super-villain-shoplifting here, but I think the reason he walked out with the shovel is because THERE IS NOBODY AT THE REGISTER.  (It must be a Wal-Mart!)

Now we return to the Atom's love affair with bees, although it has taken a quirky turn.  At least we can commit this axiom of safety to memory:  if attacked by bees, they are deathly terrified of pens.  

In short, "never bring a pencil to a bee fight."

Okay, Superman is a vandalizing jerk who doesn't know what algae is, and Hawkman can be defeated with a peanut, but did you know that The Flash is a paranoid bundle of neuroses?!  Nevermind the ability to run fast, he just wants to stand there and freak out about having a path that forks.  Also, note that, once again we have frame-worthy artistic gold from THE SUPER DICTIONARY.  They are practically giving this stuff away!!!

"LOOK- - -

- -INTO THE FACE - - OF - -

- - MAAAAAADNESS !!!!"

Unfortunately, as it turns out, "Someone Has A Pipe" is the title of Robin's autobiography.

Now that I am in the P's, It strikes me that there is a lot of bondage in THE SUPER DICTIONARY.  First Luthor, and now the Joker has his own home dungeon-thing (and both done in swanky purple).  It also strikes me that Robin is suspended in a completely bizarre way.  Also, as we saw last time, if you get captured in THE SUPER DICTIONARY, it is customary to ask politely to be released.

Okay, this is getting redundant, but CONJURA, YOU ARE MAGIC.  MAGIC PEOPLE DO NOT CALL PLUMBERS.  THEY USE THEIR MAGICAL-NESS.

Wait a second...those plumbers look familiar!!

Oh! Why didn't you say so? Let them in; they're cool.

TO BE CONTINUED.....