Video Game Board Games [part 6]: ZAXXON (Milton Bradley, 1982)

 

Here is a game I would've committed crimes to play more often, when it first came out in 1982.  My local roller rink was the first to get it, and I contributed lots of allowance toward its support.  I had a Scholastic Book Order book about "How To Win At Video Games" that told me the exact right level to line up my spaceship to defeat Zaxxon, and be able to do this:

Not a great photo, but you get the point. This was a big, heart-pounding moment.

This isometrically-endowed game was ahead of its time in its design, and according to Wikipedia, was one of the top 5 highest-grossing games that year. It requires much more skill and dexterity, and has a bit of a learning curve...so how does that translate to a board game?

As we have seen in earlier installments, there are two choices with this kind of thing:  1) phone it in, and slap a decal of Pac-Man or whatever on it, or 2) really try and emulate the mechanics of the source material.  I have to say, the makers did strive to duplicate the gameplay in this case, but--as we have also seen before--that authenticity can come at a high price, that being a level of complication that can put some people off.

This isn't going to be one of those games you try and play with your grandmother when you are stuck at your house over a holiday.  She is going to bust out the Monopoly--or the Boggle--if you attempt it.

The game board is divided into three areas.  I would've probably done this part differently, because it's convoluted.  Make one long gameboard for the fortress, and another smaller one for the dogfight area.  I do understand that the second fortress is where Zaxxon is, so maybe making three gameboards wasn't cost-effective.....but until you know what they intend, this one is confusing.

Basically, the left and right sides are the "Outer Fortresses," but for both players.  The middle column is the "Inner Fortress," but the top horizontal area is the "Dogfight Area."  I guess this was the only way for both players to work their way toward the boss fight at the same time, but like I said.

A lot of attention is given to the accessories and behavior of the pieces.  The planes even raise and lower on their stands, to mimic the altitude adjustments you can perform in the game, and you must be at the correct altitude to shoot something, or go over a wall.  When you roll a die, the number you end up with actually counts for every action you take:  you can move spaces, adjust altitude, shoot and destroy a target, and then do any of this again with your leftover number.  

Both players roll their dice simultaneously on each turn.  Whoever has the lower number gets to go first, and the lower number (only) gets to spin the spinner to determine enemy fire toward your opponent, which is pretty clever.  After which, both players use their die rolls for their own movements, as stated above.

Zaxxon himself (I wish the missile would've been launchable, but I am probably asking too much). It would've been fun to blast your opponent off of the board with a spring-loaded missile!

If you both end up in the "Dogfight" area, you get to have one, which takes the place of the middle level between fortresses in the actual game, where you fight a wave of random enemies.  By the way, when you get shot down at any point, you go back to the beginning....which I guess was done out of fairness, but if you really want to go for realism, you should have lives, I'm just saying.

At this point, the winner enters the Zaxxon area for the big boss fight, which the opponent controls for the battle.

So, before we enjoy the intruction manual, does the game pull off the experience? 

1) Well, yes, it really does, but like all of these games, it's the experience of the video game in slow motion, because, well, it's a board game.  This will have an effect on the players, depending on their age and their tolerance for minutia.  

2) It requires more paying attention than lots of board games, and therefore is more cheat-able.  I can see lots of kid arguments forming, about "you didn't count it when you raised your ship just then" or "hey, you don't have enough left to shoot right then" and, maybe a black eye or two.

3) The game board, while probably completely practical, could be laid out better.

4) This is yet another game where losing parts will affect future replayability....I mean, that's always true, and why own anything if you aren't going to take care of it...but I still point that out every time.

Overall, I'm going to say this one is even a bit more successful than some of the others we have looked at.  I know that I, for one, would've loved the chance just to set up a model of the Zaxxon fortress using these pieces, and loved it just for that reason.

In closing, here is the instruction manual for your perusal:

Believe it or not, we still have quite a few examples of this strange species of board game to look at, and a couple I still want to track down, so I guess that means this series goes another four years or so, at the rate it's going.

Oh! I almost forgot to completely rag on the eventual Atari 2600 version that we got, after much begging of parents and Christmas list-making.....it looked like this.  And you thought the 2600 Pac-Man was a failure:

SPACE CREATURES Complete Set (Diener Industries, 1980)

 

This is an awesome set of vintage figures that I've always wanted to track down...and finally did!  This is the SPACE CREATURES line, made by Diener Industries.  These little guys are about the size of M.U.S.C.L.E. or other such figures, and yet pre-date them by several years! Around 1979 or so, these began appearing in the form of erasers (sold in packs of 2), but in 1980, something magical happened, and these hard-plastic versions were the featured prize in a McDonald's Happy Meal! (Get your brain around this--you have to think back to a non-corporately-over-saturated time, where McDonald's was thrilled to find a willing theme to include in their Happy Meals, rather than conglomerate-mandated-mega-movie-tie-in-of-the-week.  Random, no-brand toys actually showed up in kids' meals and cereal boxes.  It was a better time.) There were 8 in all, available in 5 different colors!

Interestingly, lots of these figures' designs were simply "borrowed" from vintage science fiction films and TV shows, and a couple were pretty much "inspired" by them.  They are pretty awesome, and the sculpts are great.  So let's take a closer look!

1.  "Veined Cranium Creature"

You know this one--it's the extremely recognizable cabbage-headed alien design from INVASION OF THE SAUCER MEN.  I have actually owned the bright green one for years, which I found in a lot long ago.  Strangely, it doesn't match the five colors the McDonald's figures came in, but it's made of equally-firm material....unless it's an eraser that's petrified, but that can't be right.

2.  "Tree Trunk Monster"

Here is another familiar 1950's design, from the very odd I MARRIED A MONSTER FROM OUTER SPACE!

3.  "Gill Face Creature"

I knew this one was from THE OUTER LIMITS television show, but I admit I had to look up the specific episode, which is called "Keeper Of The Purple Twilight." Some websites list this figure as "Gil" instead of "Gill," but I am assuming it is the latter, since you know, he actually has gills.

4.  "Lizard Man"

This one is inspired by the Ymir from 20 MILLION MILES TO EARTH, even down to the stance.

5.  "Insectman"

This one is probably the most original design that we have looked at yet.  There is definitely some of THE FLY in here, but that's not all that's going on.

6.  "Vampire Bat Creature"

Here is another cool one.  I have seen sites mention how close this is to the "Man-Bat" DC Comics character--and he does of course look like that--but this blog being, well, you know, this blog, I want to say he is one of the Bat Men from LATITUDE ZERO.  I know, no chance...but it's a cool idea.

My figure also has some weird leftovers that didn't get trimmed from the mold!

7.  "Winged Amphibian Creature"

I will admit that this one looked familiar to me, until I read that it's the creature from the wonky DESTINATION INNER SPACE!

8.  "Horned Cyclops"

And then we have this guy.  There are lots of cyclopses in fiction, but not too many are hairy.  I thought of the LOST IN SPACE one, and some sites suggest others, but then I see the reverse and GYYYAAAHHHH my eyes can't unsee the prominent posterior on this guy! Cyclops got BACK!

This is one of those quality sets of figures that they just don't make anymore.  I'm sure they have been copied and spammed in gumball machines and the like for decades, and are probably still out there in some form or fasion, but these were the real deal.  I'm glad I never had any of the eraser versions as a kid, because there was no way I could've used them for that purpose!

CREDIT WHERE CREDIT IS DUE DEPARTMENT:

Here are a few older-but-excellent blog posts with more photos and info on these great figures! One even shows the original Happy Meal box that these figures came in!

Little Weirdos - "Diener Space Creatures Revisited"
  

Neato Coolville - "Diener Space Creatures/Aliens"    

Retro Erasers - "Monsters & Outer Space"

THE NEW JAM ALBUM OF STATION ID'S & SINGLES (Jam Productions, 1979)

 

Here is an interesting item, which is also a fun snapshot of 1979.  JAM Creative Productions is a production house for jingles, background music, and much more, and has been dominating from their Dallas headquarters for over 50 years! (By the way, the name comes from the initials of the founders, a married couple.)  They've had an incredible career of supplying high-quality jingles and music around the world.

These promotional sorts of LP's are always fun, if for no other reason than because you were never supposed to hear them, as they were never available in stores.  Instead, this extremely well-made album serves as a portfolio for everything the company could do. It would've gone to program directors and heads of radio stations, for them to evaluate their advertising needs.  You know as well as I do from your youth that jingles and call-letter identification could make or break a radio station, as it gave them a sense of identity.

Another compelling part of this record is how "1979" it is.  That was a weird time.  Disco was trying to be put to pasture, and the New Wave hadn't yet set in, so the culture in America was trying to figure out what the eventual 80's would sound like, and there was an extension of the mellow "singer/songwriter" vibe that was so big in the earlier part of the 70's.  As such, the album would fit in nicely in the "WKRP" era in sound.

Another fun thing is one of the narrators, whom people of that generation will recognize.  It's Mason Adams, who had that homespun, Jimmy Stewart's Dad type of voice that you could never believe was lying to you, no matter what he said.  We even had an LP of Halloween stories on this blog that he read.  I always knew him as the voice on commercials:  "With a name like Smucker's, it's GOT to be good."  I kept thinking about how ironic that was, because, you know....JAM.  And jellies.  

Anyway, I have said enough times that this is an enjoyable listen.  I relish the days where real singers sung with real instruments and real string sections and real everything.  The average 8-year-old ear doesn't care, but to anyone with sense, it sounds warm and real and like it exists in the actual world.  Sure, it was doing it the hard way, but the hard way is usually the best way.  Unless you are doing brain surgery or something. Use the robot for that.

LINK:  New JAM Album of Station IDs & Singles (1979)

THE WAR IN SPACE (International Poster/Press Brochure) Toho, 1977

 

Here is the last of my recent haul of international poster brochure-things.  This one is for 1977's THE WAR IN SPACE, which is an...interesting...Toho STAR WARS-inspired film from 1977. Lots of people dunk on this film, but I think it is a lot of fun.  I mean, I like MESSAGE FROM SPACE and I think STARCRASH is fun, too, so if you like those, you're in for a fun ride.

The flying ship in this film is called the Gohten, which is not Gotengo (Atragon), or even the new Gotengo from FINAL WARS, but they are all in the same cinematic lineage. Toho simply loves flying ships with drills on the front!

As a fun bonus, here is a real rarity, the poster flyer-thingy for Toei's LEGEND OF DINOSAURS AND MONSTER BIRDS!

THE SAGA OF BATTLESTAR GALACTICA (MCA, 1979)

 

Here's another one of those sorts of things that you just can't find anywhere else (and I looked).  After STAR WARS, every big movie seemed to have their own book-and-record, read-along condensed version for kids, but there could also be the long-playing version that skipped the book and the need to "turn the page when you hear this sound." This grown-up version used audio from the actual film, too.

This is the latter version, and in place of turning the page, it actually has new audio recorded by Lorne Greene as narration...which is actually strange, because he is often referring to his own character, which makes for some weird moments where Adama sound like he's speaking of himself in the third person.

This album walks through the initial movie that launched the TV series, in 49 minutes, and it's pretty well-done.  It made me want to go back and watch it again, so it must have been doing something right.  

Another interesting facet of this production is how it forced me to honestly evaluate the series as an adult, rather than when I was young and undiscerning: is it a shameless STAR WARS ripoff?  Back in the day, kids did not sit around on the playground and complain that Glen Larson was ripping George Lucas off.  Instead, we were thrilled to have new space fantasy to devour, while we waited for THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK.

Now, however, I can more clearly see some of the reasons George was upset.  After all, some of his own people worked on it, and there are some issues and similarities, of course (suddenly we had another space "Saga").  I read that Lucas issued a laundry list of demans, including vehemently insisting the blasters "fire no beams," which explains why they always lit up at the ends.  I am not sure how he could really claim a copyright on that, but whatever.  In retrospect, Apollo and Starbuck are sort of two Han Solos, and if it were up to me, I would've dialed the music down quite a bit; it's one of the most obviously-borrowed items because it is just so bombastic.  You do have rebels--in a sense--and enemy soldiers that all look alike, which they at least made into robots (before Lucas did, come to think of it). And then there are the dogfights, which are hard to defend in their similarity...again, the same folks worked on them, after all.  

But there are lots of great original things to praise the series for as well.  The cast is great; the designs are amazing (did I mention Ralph McQuarrie worked on the ships?), from the vehicles to the uniforms.  The Cylons are incredible in every way, from appearance to their all-important unique sound.  In the film, the Ovion insect people are a stroke of genius, and the writers invented a casino planet long before the Mouse ever stole the idea and wasted it.

I could go on, but I believe that the series has earned its place in history, and should stand as its own thing.  Unfortunately, it succumbed to what I call the Curse of Television.  Namely, a television series does not usually benefit from the luxury of having a beginning, middle, and definite ending.  Instead, a series tries to last as long as it is allowed, and eventually, funding is cut long before anyone can envision a proper ending to the story, or a way to pull it off, and the show is cancelled.  It's been a problem for literal decades.  

.................and then, GALACTICA 1980 happened instead.  The less said, the better.

One more thing, and this is hilarious--notice on the front cover of the album, despite all of the available artwork from the show, somebody thought it would be a good idea to swipe the MATTEL 12-INCH ACTION FIGURE ARTWORK for their painting.  After all, Cylons probably look exactly like that, right? With the huge chest light and plastic gun beam...and giant backpack push-button sticking up?  It would be a lot of trouble to go watch the show, or ask for more reference photos, right?

LINK:  SAGA OF BATTLESTAR GALACTICA (1979)

GODZILLA vs. HEDORAH (International Poster/Press Brochure, 1971)

 

Here is a treasure--a sweeeeet poster for one of my top favorites, GODZILLA vs. HEDORAH.  Like the DESTROY ALL MONSTERS one we looked at the other day, this one also measures 20 & 3/8 inches by 14 & 3/8 inches.  Interestingly, though, this poster features--as its main design--the mock-up artwork with prototype Hedorah, what I refer to as "Steel Wool Hedorah."

I have always been baffled by this Toho mock-up, and they have never shied away from using it.  It's all over the place--here, I should point out, alongside actual finished pictures of what Hedorah's design turned out to be. It shows that this marketing piece wasn't simply made early in the process; it's just that they didn't care!

Then again, I am always reminded of that great Tsuburaya quote, when he was asked about the model horse he used in FRANKENSTEIN vs. BARAGON, and why it was left in, when it wasn't "realistic-looking" enough.  His answer was "because it was more interesting!" I think this says a lot, and this sense of wonder is a quality that is missing in a lot of the world today.

The back gives us several photos of the finished Hedorah, and then Steel Wool Hedorah one more time!

Anyway, there is the usual synopsis on the back.  This is an interesting read, and I think it's actually very well done.  I actually read something the other day that said that Hedorah was the result of material from outer space landing in pollution, and that is certainly not what this synopsis says.  Or the film, for that matter.  Admittedly, this would be a much better blog post if I could remember exactly where I read that....

Incidentally, there is no mention of Godzilla's very last act, probably for reasons of space.  If you are here reading this blog, then you probably know exactly what the white orbs were that Godzilla pulled out of Hedorah's remains: eyes.  However, lots of fans do not know this, and it was certainly several years before I knew it.  I grew up thinking these were eggs somehow, subconsiously, but I stumbled onto an interview with the director, who stated categorically that they were Hedorah's eyes.  If you recall, eyes are a specific theme of the film, in that there are several characters who receive eye injuries...not to mention the scene where Dr. Yano is experimenting with Hedorah tadpoles; he states something about the eyes being the effective parts of the creature.  I don't have it in front of me at the moment, but it's there.  So it actually makes sense that Godzilla destroys both eyes specifically.  This film is so awesome.

Have you seen the jugsaw puzzle of this image that's like 2000 pieces? I don't imagine it would be very fun at all.

According to a couple random YouTube videos that keep popping up for me lately, GODZILLA vs. HEDORAH is now finally being acknowledged as the classic that it is, and while I hope that's true, it always has been for me, so "whatever" to what some critic thinks.  This film has everything:  it's innovative in a lot of ways, much cleverer and more complicated than it appears on the surface, deliciously dark when it needs to be in just the right balance, and full of great action.  It never gets old.

Granted, giving it the title of SMOG MONSTER in the U.S. was seen as cheesy to the non-initiated, but I think even that is beautiful.  I mean, among other things, he is a Smog Monster. Unfortunately it comes across as "So-and-So Eats Cleveland" or something like that.  Oh well, most people have no taste and can't enjoy anything.  I've grown to completely accept that.  

The Deadly Asteroid (Hanna-Barbera GODZILLA, Season 2 Episode 13, 1979) Turner Screener VHS Tape!

 

And now, here is the other of the two Turner Network "screener" VHS tapes I recently acquired! This is episode #7913 of the Hanna-Barbera GODZILLA, or as we know it, Season 2, episode 13, which happens to be the very last episode.  

I have gone on at length about this episode, because I seem to have a special connection with it that I can't escape.  I happen to own a handful of original backgrounds and cels from this episode, and I did a special post that shows them all, as well as showing screenshots of what they looked like when used in the finished episode! You can see all of that in this post from a few years ago, right here.  What is interesting about that post is seeing how much of the finished backgrounds ended up obscured in the finished product.  And this is for a company famous for cutting corners.  You will see what I mean. Also, the way that the colors change slightly from production, to filming, to recording is also interesting to see.

I should point out something I completely neglected to mention in my other HB GODZILLA screener VHS post--these two episodes have NO TNT or Cartoon Network "bugs" in the bottom corner, which is sadly what you run into with the second-season episodes that circulate.  Why? Because they have STILL never had an official release on any physical media whatsoever.  Now, Toho did put them on their YouTube channel a couple years back, but they divided all of them into thirds that are about 7 minutes each.  They are good quality, but the one I discussed last time seemed to have a different audio mix than my tape, because the music and sound effects were much quieter.  So anyhow, these two episodes are worth downloading just for that reason.  Moving on...

The plot of this episode, once it gets going, really has more of a SUPERFRIENDS feel to it than GODZILLA.  Some Ice Aliens from planet Something have come to Earth, and in order to make it hospitable for them, have focused a beam on one of their moons (note: not an asteroid), and will simply slam it into the Earth, thereby making it a frozen wasteland where they can live. Makes sense, right?

Well, no, but it's Saturday morning cartoons, and I am not going to argue.  The day--and the world--are both saved by Godzilla, who grabs the flying saucer generating the beam, and uses it to push the moon back into space.....somewhere.  The aliens actually quickly follow and fly away, and there is a solid moment where you straight up expect Godzilla to blow their saucer out of the sky....but again, it's Saturday morning cartoons, and everyone just lets them get away.

Before we get to the download--since I've covered this episode before, here are some items that particularly struck me on this viewing:

The episode actually begins in a way very remniscent of the first GAMERA film, with some Eskimos in the Arctic Circle reacting to the aliens' flying saucer.  

Is photo-bombing still a thing? Godzooky knows how to do it.

Godzilla doesn't have a whole lot to do in this episode, but here he smashes ice walls with an ice club.

What happens when you have an episode about aliens made of literal ice carrying ice guns? You get:  a Brock-cicle....

...a Godzilla-cicle....

...and, a Godzooky-cicle, all in the same episode!

Here's another thing--this is one of MANY fictional franchise universes where famous landmarks no longer stand, because of some cataclysm, alien invasion, or what have you.  It's a very popular thing to do in fiction--how many can you name? I can think of a handful, just typing this...

Yep, there goes Big Ben....

And, there goes the Eiffel Tower...

Wait, NO NOT THE SPHINX! We take that personally around here!

Oh, well, it's...safe? That's BETTER?

Here is a WEIRD one.  So the crew gets hold of one of the aliens' ice guns, and sets it for "reverse," and melts several of the alien soldiers to puddles of water (I know).  Right before they escape in their flying saucer, there is a VERY quick pan over to the alien leader, who silently struggles to his feet and pushes some controls on the wall.  Before the camera stops on him, it briefly passes over what looks like a mound of reconstituted alien soldiers! Maybe it's supposed to be a pile of bodies, but the whole thing is bizarrely confusing, and never explained. The above photo are two combined screenshots, made from the quick pan.

Now that you've made it through all of THAT, you can see it for yourself!

GODZILLA - The Deadly Asteroid (1979)

Enjoy!