I know you have characters and mascots on every product in your country. I know this is true because I just finished reading an excellent book about it called "HELLO, PLEASE!" that I enjoyed very much.
I even learned your word "kawaii" for these cute characters...you know, I had a keyboard as a teenager that was made by Kawaii, but it didn't have a face on it, or big googly eyes, anywhere.
You are very precocious, Japan, and I think sometimes you are just having fun with us, as evidenced in the photo of your "milk mascot" character below.
In fact, you really are too much. You make all of the other countries jealous because they are so boring. They sit around the lunch table and say mean things about you, but you don't care. After all, you can go home and make violent animes about their mothers.
Thank you for all the awesomeness you have given me over the years.
Sam the Q