Trauma In the Toy Aisles!

First off, let me get this out of the way:


I will get to that in a moment, but let me just say that there has been a long drought of very little interesting domestic collecting product, and by that I mean action figures.  But lately, it seems that everything is coming out at once--6" Star Wars figures with amazing sculpts, new rounds of Marvel Universe; you name it.
So, I have been going to stores every day...Targets, TRU's, Wal-Marts.  Every day.  And thus far, I have found very nearly nothing.  Yesterday was a high point:

This is the new "Chibi Figures" series from Bandai, and they are quite cute.  You can get them in three ways (not sure that was such a bright idea, Bandai): single-packed, two-packs, or the boxed set of all 6 for $20.  So, that was a good thing to find.  It got me through the day.
But, after looking for new Marvel figures for weeks--and I should point out that I only want two here, the Mysterio for me, and the Rhino for my youngest...that is all--I started to look on Amazon, because Ebay was just wrong.  At first, they were available at store prices ($11.99), but their stock was quickly exhausted, and it kicked over to what scalpers had for sale ($20.99).  When, one day, very suddenly, they suddenly (I said that) got more in at store price...with free shipping...I jumped on it.
Well.  Days later, I found a box on my doorstep that was crushed.  Like an elephant sat on it.  This would be tragic for some people, but I tell myself, no worries, they are going to be opened anyhow!
Unfortunately, upon opening the box......I got this.
Now, just to be clear, compare the following photos:
Not Right.

You know, I'm not a guy to complain about an occasional paint blob, but this is ridiculous.  That is damage, like something has been ground away, broken--or even not properly molded--leaving a hideous, gaping hole...now, I could blame Amazon, (and true, it shouldn't have gone out the door) but the real culprit here is Hasbro.  And it is at this point that we will resume my previous rant:  WHY DO YOU HATE ME, HASBRO? Do you have any idea of how much money I have given you over the years and years?! Instead, you continually give me all your Chinese screw-ups (such as here and here, and that's just two examples).  Do you not have any quality control? Great Caesar's Ghost! Hour of Mischief! Does paying Malaysian runaways fifty cents a day not guarantee two DIFFERENT BLOODY FREAKING HANDS on a body?
New "Choir Boy Mysterio" with Enunciating Action!
Come to think of it, maybe THIS is what they were going for...
So now what am I to do, wait an eon to find one in a local store? Do I return this piece of crap to Amazon, and take a chance on getting something worse? Sigh. SIGH!
For more on this situation, let's go to our Field Reporter, H.E.R.B.I.E., who is on the scene:
Here are some photos I saw on an Ebay auction, that sort of explain a bit more what is going on:
You can see here (I always hear Admiral Ackbar's voice when I start a sentence like that) that there is a sort of slot where Mysterio's dome meets the cape.  Apparently, if this is positioned right, it doesn't show....I can't verify this, since I don't have a figure that's not completely wrecked, of course.  But it does sort of help me to understand what's wrong with my figure, namely that some Southeast Asian factory workers were having a bet as to who could more successfully operate the router with their feet, and assemble a figure.
As interesting as that is, this is even more interesting:

I can understand wanting to have a shadowy, human-shaped head visible under the dome...in fact, I applaud the designers in doing this.  It really pays tribute to the classic design.  I imagined that it would simply be a blank head, but as this photo shows, it's not! In fact, it has features...well, there really isn't a nose at all.  He sort of looks like the Harry Potter villain.  I guess what I want to know is, was this specially sculpted for this figure? You would think any head would do.  Was there a reason that it was done this way? Who knows?!


Anonymous said...

Looks like the Chameleon. You know.

Sampoerna Quatrain said...

You are right!
I should have added to the post that I finally got a proper Mysterio, and it's one of my favorite figures in the line.