THE SUPER DICTIONARY beckons...and it can be put off no longer. It will have its revenge. You can run all you want, but you must read on...which is hard to do while you are running.
Today, we are still in the letter "S," and we find Wonder Woman held captive by a large purple Pterodactyl....except, wait a second, the thing has one giant foot, as well as a long tail. Huh. Oh, and it talks, I should point out. So, that's different. There are a lot of "S" words that could go with this panel, but struggle defines our journey together through this book so well, let's stick with that.
What's the point here? It's just this: don't drive stupid, friends.
Although, I would like to turn your attention to the fact that Black Canary is hurling herself at an oncoming car, so I will let you decide for yourselves who is stupid, here.
There is so much wrong with this picture, it could be an activity in the old HIGHLIGHTS magazine. Okay, Atom is tiny here. He must be, because the swans and grass are bigger than he is. Therefore, let's figure out why his female companion (in a...bathing suit? That's funny, YOUR clothes shrink, Atom) is equally tiny. Uh, I got nothing.
Okay, now that we've done that, let's talk about how they are "afraid of" the swan, and then the suggestion is made to jump onto one of its babies. ARE YOU FREAKING STUPID, ATOM? That thing will chomp you in half like a mama hippo. THIS should be another entry for stupid.
Yeah, right, Batman swept the floor last week. Um, isn't that what Alfred is for? Anyone?
Ah, it's this guy. One of the Randoms in THE SUPER DICTIONARY. I refuse to call him by name, because he is unnecessary. Although, you have to admire his super-power: getting two taxis to show up...and look, one came all the way from the 1940's.
Green Arrow is a sap. Why doesn't it say that in a trice, he let loose an exploding arrow, which pierced the little hellion and then blew him to bits? That's what happens when you tear one of MY paintings, you little miscreant. You aren't even shown in the panel, and I hate you.
"Well, DUH, law enforcement...you are so stupid. Sheesh!"
Really, Superman?! What, are there no cars that belong to innocent tax-payers around for you to stack?
I like how the cops instantly recognize a teaspoon, even though it is enormous. Wouldn't 10 out of 10 people just say "giant spoon"????
No one else uses anything the way Atom does. Atom is the kind of person who dries his clothes in the oven, cooks eggs in the toaster, and leaves the refrigerator open because he won't pay for air conditioning. HE is the real "tool" in the panel. He doesn't even realize it's a lot easier to use the phone when you are normal-sized. Even I know that.
I hate to keep pointing out how stupid everyone in this dictionary is. I really do. It's just that they aren't giving me much to work with. I can understand tent, and the illustration (although Supergirl apparently has a back injury), but WHO TALKS LIKE THIS? "I tented in the forest." Who says that? Tent is not a verb. I don't care if you can find a dictionary somewhere that says it is a verb...if you do, it's from the 1700's. Nobody told you "I carred all the way to work this morning" today. Nobody said they couldn't come to lunch today, because they had so much washing-machining to do. Nobody talks like that, outside of maybe toddlers on Bizarro World.
Suddenly, I am really angry, and I didn't even realize it... do you see what THE SUPER DICTIONARY causes, friends? I need a happier panel, to calm me down...
And...this isn't it.
Okay, I have heard it said that Wonder Woman can have mental control over her Magic Lasso, and I've even heard it said that she can have mental control over her invisible jet, but please look at this picture. THAT IS NOT HER INVISIBLE JET. It's not even close; it's a small plane with a propeller. Does Wonder Woman suddenly have dominion over aircraft? I missed that part; the part where a huge goddess appeared in the sky and bestowed upon her dominion over aircraft.
I guess I shouldn't get so worked up, because at second glance, she's pointing to the left, and the plane is completely ignoring her, and continuing along its merry way.
So, I guess the point is, she can't control aircraft after all. So, there, SUPER DICTIONARY.
TO BE CONTINUED...
No comments:
Post a Comment