Some of My Personal FAILs.... (part five: vacation)

While The Sphinx was closed, I was in the great state of Alaska.  The only thing about that--for our purposes here--that's important are a few of the bizarrities that I encountered there (coined a word, there).  This has nothing to do with the state of Alaska, mind you, but are still pretty entertaining:
I'm not a scientist, but I think this level of humidity means you are far underwater.

This sign directs you to your 13th floating cheeseburger. (Great, now I have "19th Nervous Breakdown" stuck in my head.)
A package of fish jerky (which is quite disgusting, by the way).  First ingredient: WILD SALMON,  so is it really necessary to have a CONTAINS FISH label???
At one point, I found myself in a single-engine plane made in the 1950's.  As if I wasn't worried enough, this card was on the wall of the plane.  It really IS true what they say about putting your head between your legs and kissing your [preferred anatomical term] goodbye....as if you aren't going to be dead ENOUGH anyway, they want to be sure.
At one point, this, um, person was right outside my hotel window.  Let's take inventory:  dress shoes, dress socks, running shorts, T-shirt rolled up above the belly, and...rubber gloves? Wait, what are the rubber gloves for? Nevermind, I don't want to know...
This one is going straight to the "People of Wal-Mart" website. It speaks for itself.

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