7/1/15

THE SUPER DICTIONARY (Part Five)

Once again, come with me, as we journey into the discombobulation that is...THE SUPER DICTIONARY. [dramatic music]
Sentence of the week:  "I may grow very sad to be so large."  Use it on your friends today.
This is not original information, but Superman is a world-class jerk.  Here, he demolishes an entire building, just to be dramatic...wasn't there an early point in all that growing, where he realized he probably needed to go outside?  Let's keep going with that:  wasn't there a really uncomfortable point in the middle of all that growing, where he was just being suffocated by lots of insulation, wires, and debris? But we are supposed to feel sorry for him, because the experience made him SAD?  How about the fact that we need a new building? Do you know what buildings even cost?

Like me, do you find yourself asking the question "Don't we already have a character for this"?? And we do: Apache Chief.  There is no attempt in THE SUPER DICTIONARY to make any kind of grade-school connection to the Super Friends, which, incidentally, were really popular in 1978!
I'm not sure if "metal tube that shoots" really gets the gun concept across, either.
Here again is one of those entries that would not appear in a contemporary dictionary (and I use the term loosely) for kids.  Notice though, that the writers chose not to illustrate this particular entry...as if a panel showing Tomahawk with a musket in his mouth would have been out of place in this book.  Why, you ask? Because we already keep venturing into darkness, like this next entry for example:
Wow...so now go back to the first line, "Can Batman hang from the rope?" Indeed!
 
Okay, this is an amusing panel, I guess, but it makes no headway into defining the word very accurately.  Also, why are you complaining, Joker? You do (rather suddenly) have a great car...although I have no idea where it came from.  And what in the world is this:
Way to phone in the art, SUPER DICTIONARY...what is that, the inflatable Batmobile Otto Pilot? (A little AIRPLANE! joke there.)
I just said this, but don't we already have a character for this? Oh yes, the Atom.  But why are our two stock character/pesky kids miniaturized? Are they in DR. SHRINKER's house?
No, these people have no hope, because they asked for help, and somebody sent them El Dragon.  They are screwed.  Once again, is the whole world suddenly miniaturized, or is this dragonfly just really big?
Although a protective suit and oxygen supply never occurred to you for your little moonwalk, there, evil genius.
And WHAT just happened here, exactly?
Now, I can't fault Batgirl for wanting to smack Robin with a ball, but is this some sort of bizarre superhero rooftop-tag? Aren't there villains to catch?
What? You mean there are KINDS of ladies???!?!
I'm still trying to figure out what just happened.  Did that outdated (and Scottish, even) word merit an entry in the SUPER DICTIONARY?  Oh, because it's the SUPER DICTIONARY.  That's the answer for everything.
Woah! Suddenly Green Lantern is being attacked by a weirdly-colored 1966 Batman...but why? The guy even has "AW" on his chest...I am going to call him "A&W Rootbeer Man," and we will see him again, but could it very well be Adam West?  
My head is spinning......there's a Surgeon General-regulated medical limit to how much SUPER DICTIONARY one person can safely take at one time.
TO BE CONTINUED...

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