Scalpers Can SUCK IT (Part Four)

Well, well, well.  The asshats in my area have been really busy, and have now struck at TRU.  Let's see, what do we have here?  

Pay attention kids, this is a "hybrid swindle":  an older Captain America, on a Walgreen's-exclusive Namor plastic tray, shoved inside of the one-per-case Nick Fury box.

I am telling you, friends, I see this stuff constantly, and I need to be taking more photos.  'Tis a sad world we live in.

Scalpers Can SUCK IT (part three)

[ENGAGE RANT]

I haven't reported on this in a while, because of general disgust.  BUT.  This is becoming an almost weekly event in my life.  I have photographed two recent instances, but trust me, there have been more.

As I have pointed out in two previous articles, Walgreen's and Target are being ripped off quite a bit in my area, and losing all kinds of money (by the way, Walgreen's is the largest retail recipient of shoplifting losses in the nation, did you know that?).  And, what's more, if you've read my previous articles, then you know they completely deserve it.

Which doesn't make any of this right:  just because stupid people exist, doesn't mean that theft is okay (despite what politicians do).  I call them "scalpers" because it strikes a chord, but that isn't accurate.  Scalpers are people who (pretty much) legally buy items and resell them.  It's bad form, but it's capitalism.  Thieves are people who, well, steal things.  Because they want them "more" than you, and think that they "deserve" them more than you, or your children, who (pretty much) plan on buying the items with hard-earned money, or allowance.

Ranting aside, here are the two examples I have run across in the last few days.  Far be it from me to waste my energy showing them to the store manager.  I've tried it, nobly, and failed, ignobly, so somebody else can take over on that failed crusade.

 On the left, what I believe to be the new "Venom" figure, which has been replaced, crudely, with some sort of X-Men figure that is so lame, I have no idea who or what it is.  On the right, a Carnage head that's been stolen from another new Spider-Man (which almost seems tame to me, lately, in the wake of some of the bolder things I've seen):

Again, the figure is correct (although lame: Blizzard), but the two pieces of the Hulk-Buster Build-A-Figure have been lifted, and replaced with...a Happy Meal toy keychain thing and an action figure stand....I mean, not even trying.  And, keep in mind, Zippy the wonder-retail-employee let this pass, and gave the guy his refund!   

You could say that this is what happens when action figures become $22, but that doesn't help anything, and losses definitely won't lower manufacturer prices.  Lego used to have a similar problem, (in-store theft) which is why minifigures are scattered in various bags today, and harder to quickly find.  So what is the outcome here? That retailers stop allowing toy returns? Which of course, punishes the rest of us!

[TERMINATE RANT]

We now return you to your normal Internet day...

The Return of BlockTech SUPERHEROES!! A Review (Such As It Is)

Ok, as promised...I only saw them at Target that one time, and lo and behold, they were at my favorite thrift store for a dollar less.  Yes, three bucks is too high for these, but two?? And unopened at that...imagine somebody not wanting these! Hold your nose...let's dive in.

I like how the box art doesn't say "collect them all," because they are all in this box...no, you are commanded instead to COLLECT THEM! As I stated in the previous article, most (if not all) of these names are actual comic characters, so I don't know what has been accomplished here.  Let's look at them individually...

This is "Smasher," also known as the "Green One." He is totally not Hulk, because he wears blue pants, and they are not torn.  Interestingly, his abdomen has more detail than his face.

From the front, these may be passable as minifigures to the average grandmother, or untrained eye, but from the back, all hopes for any quality at all are lost.  The legs are hollow, as are the heads, beneath the hair-pieces, as if just waiting for brains to be added.  Hulk Smasher is the only one with a serial number embossed across his backside.  Which is weird.

The name "Smasher" is not only a character in Image comics, it is also used for multiple people in Marvel (I knew about the Spider-Man one).  Which is weird, because the name is so lame, you wouldn't expect that.

"Metalman" is a very odd figure.  While the name suggests a robot (or...armor-covered character...get it??!), his mask only covers the front of his head, and we are left with a bald, flesh-colored head, with prominent ears...and, as a previous reader pointed out, a Devo hat! (All of the heads have prominent ears, and you will notice that any hair-pieces have to squeeze over the ears just to fit.)  I'm not sure what the dangling straps are supposed to refer to, and he is also the only figure with yellow underpants over his actual pants...or something.  You will notice from the box art, his arms were supposed to be yellow as well, to further suggest the red-and-yellow armored Avenger, but didn't end up that way.  A note on the arms, while we are on the subject:  as you can see, they detach where the elbow would be.  Not only is this odd, but it creates some unwanted articulation, and would be the first place to break.

Not only that, from the back, he looks like...

Of course, DC comics have some "Metal Men," but "Metal Man" is a Mega Man villain.

Next we have "Falconman." I understand that the bizarre name is to somehow tie in the Falcon, but this guy's byline should be "The Man Without A Country," because his costume could relate to several other flags, as shown above.

From the back, he kind of looks like Thomas the Tank Engine.

Next we have "Revenge," who apparently is an amalgamation of Hawkeye and Black Widow (you may remember the original Gatchaman villain, Berg Katse, who was both genders at once)...you may note what you think is a touch of lipstick, but then you see our next figure, who also has the same head.  The less said about this, the better.  I can't find any comic characters quickly that share this name, but I think it's obvious that this character is named after a 1967 Bill Cosby album.

Lastly, let me introduce you to "Lightning Bolt" [snicker].

Yep, no hammer accessory (I mean, that would just be plagarism!), and coming off more "He-Man" than "Thor," we have this guy.  Who may be wearing lipstick.  Note his V-shaped armor piece, and oddly-placed belt...

...which completely disappear when you see his back.  Also, he may be mooning us.

So there you have it...five Block Tech SUPERHEROES for less than the cost of one of those ridiculous blind-bagged Lego guys...I mean, you don't even know who you are getting! Am I right, Grandma?

FAIL of the Day: "SUPERHEROES" by BlockTech

I don't know why I find so many hilarious things in the "cheap section" at the front of Target stores, but I do.  This is funny on so many levels.  I almost spent the three bucks for it, but in the end I lost interest.  

The funniest part of this are the names:  Revenge, Smasher, Falconman, Metal Man, and Lightning Bolt (of course, some of these are actual comic character names, but we won't go into that).  I've mentioned what I call "Grandmother Toys" before, because these are the sorts of items that are made to fool elderly people who need a child's gift, but don't pay any attention.

In the end, though, you have to wonder if there's anyone else this company wants to irritate, since they will be angering both Lego and Disney/Marvel...which between them own most of the world.  Why don't we just make fun of the dictator of North Korea or something, and go for a trifecta? Maybe include some "Bill Cosby is Innocent" stickers? It was nice briefly knowing you, "Block Tech!"

NOTE:  Now you can see a full review of this set......be warned! It's not pretty!

Scalpers can SUCK IT... (part two)

Here we go again...if you remember my previous post on this exact subject, then you know the disdain I have for scalpers and their ilk. Of course, this goes beyond all that, because it's common thievery.

Second verse, same as the first, this time at my local Target, where some dolt has crammed a worthless (ToyBiz?) Cable Legend figure into the tray of a brand-new figure from the current wave of Spider-Man Legends...oh, but he threw in a Zola arm, to make it look "legit."

Nevermind that it doesn't begin to actually fit in the package, or even look halfway right.  As I also proved in my previous post, it does no good to actually POINT OUT the problem to the workers, or managers, because you will only be wasting your own precious time...and then there is the injury you inflict upon yourself (from banging your head against the wall in desperation).

I've decided that, if these stores and their workers are really this stupid (again, see previous post), then they deserve it.

Oh, and to the intrepid soul who did this:  there is a special, hidden level of Dante's Inferno waiting just for you, where you have to lay around in old hot dog water for all eternity!

Lego Marvel Superheroes Assemble!

I had to re-do my small display case, which has grown to "Heroes" and "Villains" for both Marvel and DC....there's no way to fit them all in...but who needs like 27 Iron Mans anyway? To Lego, Iron Man is their Marvel version of Batman, if that statement makes any sense.  By the way, these nifty cases are $10 at Container Store, and come with three black steps you can arrange in any way you want.  There's also a clear top part, naturally, but I removed it for the photo.

THE INCREDIBLE HULK Production Cel and Background (New World Animation, 1996)

Another birthday present I couldn't post until the cat was out of the bag, for the biggest Hulk fan that I know!

Scalpers Can SUCK IT...

You aren't funny, whoever you are.

This was the scene moments ago, at my closest Walgreen's.  As you may, or may not, know, Walgreen's has several "hot" action figure exclusives this year, which are currently showing up, giving some of us a reason to finally go in there.  They have one Spider-Man, and one Star Wars, both six-inch, overpriced figures.

Now, I don't give a tinker's dam about comics that Jack Kirby didn't do. (That is actually a bit of artistic hyperbole...what I mean to say is, I am not familiar with modern comics.)  I didn't know what an "Agent Venom" was, until my ten-year-old told me, and I still don't exactly understand...but he wants one, super badly.

So, instead of finding one, this is what I see on the pegs.  Now, for the benefit of the uninitiated, here is what it's supposed to look like:

Notice any differences? Oh yes, you do.*  

Some scumbag switched it out with a black Spider-Man, and returned it.

Now comes the really great part of the story.  I decided to do two things: 1) report my findings to the store employees, and notify them that they had been ripped off, and 2) use the good deed to ask if there were any more in the back somewhere.

So yes, I had motives, but at least they were honest motives.  

Well, proving the maxim I live by, which is "NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED," I was reminded why people get away with these sorts of things.  Quite simply, it's because retail employees can be new kinds of exceedingly stupid.  Not only did I wait 20 minutes for the manager to look and not find anything, but while I'm waiting, the worker decides that it simply CAN'T be a switcheroo, because after all, people don't DO that, right?

My energy and stamina to deal with doltery rapidly depleting, I gave it one more try.  I told him to compare the figure to the photo on the back.  Then I told him to notice how the figure didn't even fit into the tray properly, and left unfilled space.

Suddenly, he decides it must have been some kind of factory error.  "See, they just forgot to put the shell on," he said.  The SHELL? The WHAT???! Godfrey Daniel! Shades of Ninja Turtles!?

My friends, if we learn anything from this debacle, let it be two things:

1) Every day, people are leaving the school system in this country unable to write their own names, or form sentences with actual words.  For these people, there is retail.

2) Walgreen's is completely unqualified to sell exclusive action figures.

_________________________________________________________
*Don't notice any differences? Don't worry, just click here.

Iron Man's Day Off

I made this, but only because of this amazing site I discovered, called Paper Arcade, that has 94 incredible items (some are 2-part builds).  It doesn't quite have everything (stand-up STAR WARS, please!), but there should be something for everyone.

Unfortunately, it's a "Flickr" set, so that means you have to take screenshots to print them, and sizing up the finished product is a little tricky.  Originally, I wanted to make a Space Invaders machine, but it's a 2-part build, and caused sizing problems, so I went with Ms. Pac.

The details are amazing, and somebody has spent countless hours creating these masterpieces.  I had to reign in the plans that were forming in my head to recreate the Showbiz Pizza where I spent a good deal of my childhood...but it does offer lots of good diorama possibilities.  Maybe I will put a Space Invaders machine in my Mos Eisley Cantina.

Marvel Minimates Collection Shelf

I had a built-in shelf above the one I use for Lego Minifigures, so I recently constructed a panel with shelves for the Marvel Minimates that I have collected over the years, although I may put some other Marvel stuff in there too...right after I glue Dr. Octopus' arms.

Honestly, now that I've tracked down everybody I want, I don't even know what it would take to get me to buy future Minimates....except maybe an Inhumans boxed set to give us the rest of the team!

Oh, and Godzilla Minimates are on the horizon for later in the year, so here we go again! It looks like they WILL be getting some more of my money after all.

Iron Patriot Arrives

How amazing is LEGO MARVEL SUPER HEROES? Extremely.  I'm four or five missions in, and this is shaping up to be the greatest Lego game yet.

Included with my game was the Iron Patriot minifigure, so the last space in my Hall of Armor is finally complete!

Lego: Iron Man's Laboratory (2013)

In the last Lego magazine, a full-page ad ran for downloadable plans to build "Iron Man's Laboratory," and it took them a while to get the link up and working.  In fact, there are a few errors in it, and it seems like Lego was rushing to get the instructions up in time.  I still don't know where a couple of pieces they had me obtain even go.  You can download the instructions here, but after scouring my extra pieces (I had around 30% of the 400+ parts), and after $50 in pieces from various brick dealers, here is the finished product!

2017 Updated photo (with Iron Patriot and all gray bricks now the same shade)

2017 Updated photo (with Iron Patriot and all gray bricks now the same shade)

2017 Updated photo (with Iron Patriot and all gray bricks now the same shade)

 

I was so proud of this picture...until I realized I'd forgotten about Tony's "other" face, which his hair isn't long enough to cover. Oops.

This is the only representation of the red & silver armor that Lego has made.

Once again, there is a creepy second mouth on the back of Tony's head. Yikes!

So was it worth it? Oh heck yes. Another thing I should point out is, they expect you to have the label sheet from set #76007, the Malibu Mansion attack...and not one extra set of labels, but two, because there are three computer screens in this set.  The best thing to do is what I did, simply print out duplicates and glue them on, because in the end it's just three computer screens and the two-sided briefcase.  (By the way, this is NOT an "alternate build of the 76007 set, so don't fall into that trap.  Of course, you will need 76007, because it's the only place to get a Tony Stark figure!) Good luck, and happy building.

UPDATE: 10-22-13:

With LEGO MARVEL SUPER HEROES, Iron Patriot arrived, so the last space in the Hall of Armor is filled! Here's a photo: